My Journey of Gratitude - Day 30

I began these 30 days in gratitude as an experiment to see what would happen. It quickly became a journey that took me on a trip beyond what I could have ever imagined. I expected to be changed certainly, but something even more amazing happened that I did not foresee--I was revealed.

In this field of healing that I so dearly love, we talk about changing our minds, changing our lives, changing our beliefs. But what I've come to realize is that, in doing all that, we are not changing ourselves--we are simply revealing who we've always been, Changing your beliefs doesn't change you--it reveals you.

When who you are is revealed and you live from that revealed self, your life begins to reflect that--and we call that change.

It may seem like I'm playing at semantics when you read this, but I can tell you that the experience between changing myself and revealing my true self is very different.

It feels like being covered by so many layers of thick blankets, that my Self is hidden. Then, one by one, each blanket is removed until there is just me--my True Self--jumping up and saying with delight "Here I am!"

I am not changed; I am revealed.

While some of my outer circumstances still remain to be dealt with, I no longer look at them as challenges to be overcome. In this revelation of who I am, I see them as opportunities. Opportunities for growth; opportunities to spread my wings and try new things; opportunities to allow more magic and miracles into my life.

And this is where one leg of my journey ends and a new one begins.  I am called to be open to and explore the magic and miracles that are present when I live in a state of gratitude.

So my Inner Chicken and I have new waves to surf and new adventures to take. Where we end up is beyond my ability to imagine, but I trust that magic and miracles will play a large role in wherever we go.

It is an exciting thought--magic and miracles abound, just waiting for me to recognize, allow and accept them.

Thank you for walking this journey with me. I am grateful for my life, for my new opportunities and for you.

I would love to hear your stories, your questions and your experiences.  Please feel free to comment!

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 28

Some days I just have to laugh at what a slow learner I can be. Today is one of those days! I began my usual process of stepping into gratitude, especially giving thanks for these past 30 days, which are quickly coming to an end.

As I was expressing my gratitude for an experience yesterday that I would preferred to not have had, I realized that being in a state of gratitude does not keep me from feeling old worries and fears, nor does it protect me from the challenges in life. I find that I still worry and fret over what isn't going well in my life and at times old beliefs still pop up and get in my way. It's part of the human experience I suppose; just not the most pleasant part.

The state of gratitude does not guarantee me sunshine and rainbows every day.
What it does do is give me an essential tool to quickly shift my perspective and my experience.

Remember that gratitude is also a choice. I can take the time, even in the midst of anger or worry, to choose to feel gratitude for something. I may not enter the state of gratitude, but I can certainly shift my mood with the feeling of gratitude. To say to myself "I choose this instead of that."

With that understanding came an image of how I've been practicing gratitude up to this point. Practicing it--not being it. It is a journey after all, not a destination, so learning wisdom along the way is a good thing.

The image I saw was of me carrying a huge, heavy rock. This rock was so big that it blocked my view of where I was heading. I had to crane my neck to see around it, but right in front of me--just a big ole piece of impenetrable rock.

Now the interesting thing is that I've carried this 2 ton piece of earth with me for so long that it became part of me--who knew!

I saw that during this journey of stepping into gratitude, I would unconsciously put the rock down, step into gratitude and have my beautiful experience--and then pick up that darn rock again and continue on my not-so-merry way. No wonder I often feel exhausted and can't always 'see' where I'm headed!

Because change is a choice, gratitude is a choice--I made a choice to let go of the rock and try something new. I didn't need nor did I want that rock any longer, and I no longer wanted my journey of gratitude to be separate from who I am, what I do and where I'm headed.

At first the rock turned into a pile of gifts--gifts that I can offer to others, but they were still heavy and still blocked my vision. Not yet matching my vision.

So I sat there as gratitude came to me--that was a new experience. Gratitude stepping into me rather than vice versa. As I allowed myself to be bathed in and invigorated by this state of gratitude, the gifts disappeared completely and there was only me standing there with no obstacles to block my vision.

Me. My knowledge, skills, talents and personality are the gifts I bring to my life and to my clients. Who I am-exactly as I am--is the gift I bring.

Who you are, exactly as you are-that is the gift you bring to the world.

And that knowing my friends is worth this entire journey! For this I am most grateful.

What are your stories, your questions, your opinions? I am grateful for you in my life and would love to hear from you.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 26

Through my experiences on this journey of gratitude I have learned that expressing thankfulness is one aspect of gratitude.  Feeling gratitude is another aspect.  Being in the state of gratitude amplifies both expression (thoughts) and feeling and creates a different energy--a new vibration that is more powerful than its separate parts.  Being in the state of being called gratitude, this new energy moves from being in the mind only into the body and expands both.  It truly becomes a body-mind-spirit experience of gratitude.

I felt the shift more deeply this morning.  Instead of my awareness being experienced in my mind, my conscious awareness going up & out, the expansion of gratitude dropped down & in so that I experienced body-mind-spirit all in gratitude at once--as one being state.

This was an experience of deepening that opened greater understanding of who I am beyond this physical body.  I feel a healing of separation happening, not yet complete, but spreading.  A blending that is at once curious and exciting.

You know that experience where you reach a certain point and the experience takes on a life of its own and continues to grow and spread exponentially?  It feels very much like the beginning of new life--three things (thoughts, feeling and state of being) coming together in creation.  The big bang theory.  The beginning of new life.  An expansion in control of itself.

I feel it in my cells as well as my thoughts.  Something new and different has been creating and is developing organically on its own. 

Just as I was excited about meeting the new life that was growing within me each time I was pregnant, I feel new life growing within me now--body-mind-spirit and I am excited about the possibilities and the final outcome when what has been created is birthed into my life.

Today I feel a new state of gratitude growing within me and I am most thankful for the changes I feel.  This journey is giving birth to a new me and I am excited about meeting her when she is ready to be born anew into this reality.

As always, I would love to hear about your experiences, your questions and your stories.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 19

Gratitude leads to inner peace and that is how I awoke this morning, with this deepest sense of inner peace as my first awareness. So instead of getting up to do my 10 minutes of gratitude meditation in my usual spot, I allowed myself to shift into gratitude right there, lying in bed all snuggled under the blankets on a dark, cold morning and had a very different experience of gratitude.

Usually it is my mind that guides me through the meditation; my mind that consciously takes me into gratitude. This time, maybe because I was so relaxed, it was my physical body that took over the reins, guiding me ever deeper into what happens to me physically when I am in a state of gratitude. An odd experience certainly and I'm not quite sure if I can describe the difference.

Always before my mind told me what my body was feeling; whether it was about gratitude or anything else, the understanding came through my mind. This morning, however, the knowing came directly from my body--and I understood it. Instead of gratitude flowing from my thoughts down into my physical being, it was my body that flowed gratitude to my thoughts. My body was reflecting back to me its new state of being now--a state of physical being that carried, held and flowed gratitude. No longer was my body being fed gratitude, it had become the state of gratitude. Something had shifted within the physical and it all feels different.

Curious now to see what was next, I relaxed into this new experience and allowed it to unfold. At first I thought my mind was wandering and I'd try to bring it back to the present. But then I realized that my mind wasn't wandering because my mind was not controlling this experience--my body was. Old memories would pop up--what use to be very painful memories from childhood. Instead of the feeling of pain and woundedness that always accompanied these memories, a feeling of warmth--that new state of gratitude I have--flowed through each memory, dissolving it.

It took a few minutes to realize that the intelligence of my body--and make no mistake our bodies have an intelligence of their own--was using gratitude to heal the pain in my past. So I lay there, open and allowing this process to unfold as memory after memory was released from my cells and healed. Past memories and future worries, all healed in the same way--with gratitude.

As a medical intuitive I am use to entering the body and taking a look around, but that is my mind controlling the process. This experience was entirely different. I could actually feel my body healing itself and it was doing it consciously, wanting me to know and understand what was happening. Gratitude has become so much more than a feeling I flow through my body 10 minutes a day. It is now a state of being that I live in and that my body responds to.

As the body is a reflection of the mind, I saw a new reflection of myself this morning. And I am grateful for who I am and who I am becoming.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 18

The more time I spend in this state of gratitude, the more I learn about who I am and who I am becoming and that leads to feeling even more gratitude. And I continue to fall in love with myself more every day in new ways. What an incredible Being I really am--amazing how I never saw that before. Amazing how we forget to remember how amazing we each are.

As I keep my focus on gratitude, I notice subtle shifts within. Increasingly I am more open to seeing life as a journey and less needing to try to control my outcomes. What a relief that is! To begin giving up controlling my life and how it turns out and relax into the moment as it is--priceless.

I already know my eventual destination, so why not be open to the journey itself and enjoying the outcomes rather than fearing them. That is a huge shift for me. I've always been a destination kinda gal--focusing more on getting to the finish line and forgetting to notice the cool things along the way.

Other changes are beginning to show up in my life as well--physical changes. As I physically relax into this journey of gratitude I am sleeping more. Never realized how wound up and constricted I had become the past couple of years with trying to do things the 'right' way and control the outcomes. The more I relax, the slower my pace the more I actually accomplish. Seems counter-intuitive I know--but it's real.

And I am physically detoxing a bit as the energy of gratitude floods my body, flushing out the old 'not enoughness' that was trapped. A bit uncomfortable certainly, but also refreshing as my body continues to let go of what it no longer needs to hold.

My outlook on life is definitely brighter--this attitude of gratitude is becoming a constant presence in my life. More and more when an old habitual thought of worry or fear arises, I am flooded with feelings, images and thoughts of all I have to be grateful for. A new habit of gratitude as my natural state of being is arising.

I find that I'm walking around in love with people and with the world instead of shrinking away from the chaos and pain. All good and all bad still exist out there. We do live in a world of polarity, but the difference for me is where I now place my focus. Gratitude is not only a state of being, it is also a choice. A choice that I make every moment in my life. To choose gratitude over fear. To choose to focus on all that is good in life and allow my experience of life to be simpler, happier.

I no longer feel the need to save the world. Did I really believe that I could? Loving myself and my life one day at a time is enough. If we each do that, the world won't need saving.

In the meantime, life is meant to be an adventure and we are meant to enjoy the journey--living full out to the best we can.

Cue the Hawaii 5-0 theme song and my Inner Chicken riding the waves of life!

In gratitude, Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 16

I want to first thank a good friend of mine for helping me yesterday to clear some of the old stuff that has arisen during this journey of mine. Whenever you make a shift of any kind your frequency changes and whatever you've been holding that no longer resonates with that new 'you' shakes loose and needs to be released. That is what healing is all about--letting go of what no longer fits. So yesterday my friend Sue helped me let go of all that had shaken loose and I feel so much more freedom. For that I am grateful.

So this morning, feeling more freedom within and without, I sat down to practice my 10 minutes of gratitude. It was easier to get into that state of gratitude this morning because most of the chatter that I normally have to move through was gone. A big WooHoo! on that score!

What is left behind is a deeper warmth, like glowing embers after the logs have burned themselves down. A calm, steady warmth that spread through me, deep into my bones.

Not the high that I've always felt before; you know that mountain top experience we often get. But with every high must come a leveling out because we are not called to live at the top of the mountain all the time--or at least I'm not. I am called to live amongst people and be of service from within the community, not separate from them.

And so a new sense of gratitude was born within me today. It feels like I found myself again and, even better, I fell in love with myself all over again.

Today I am grateful for the slow, steady glow of gratitude that warms me and tells me that I am 'home' at last.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 13

A funny thing about opening to feelings--you can't just pick and choose which feelings you allow. It's not possible to say "I will only feel the 'good' feelings today." That's because feelings are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. They are just feelings brought on by your thoughts.

So the other day when the dam burst open and everything that was backed up came pouring forth, I understood that would mean that all my feelings were free to express themselves. And they certainly have!

Yesterday was my impatience and today my sadness made its appearance. Not the profound sadness of years past, but the sadness of unanswered prayers, missed opportunities and things I have done or left undone.

Earlier this morning I read a passage that fit perfectly for this moment. "Bask in the luxury of feeling fully understood and unconditionally loved." So I did. As I stepped more fully into that state of gratitude feeling fully understood and unconditionally loved, I allowed the sadness to flow through me, freeing it from the prison of my body. A sweet gentleness flowed in to fill the empty spaces where sadness had previously lived.

The more I let go of what no longer serves me and what I have imprisoned in my body, the more free I am to fully live the life I love. I begin my day in a place of serenity and knowingness.

Today I am grateful for my ability to fully experience all my emotions and to bask in the luxury of being fully understood and unconditionally loved.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 10

Ten days into my 10 minutes of gratitude and my mind is telling me how bored it is already. Because of my commitment to these 30 days, I decide to sit in gratitude for the boredom--and so I do. I'm just so grateful to be alive that 10 minutes of boredom doesn't seem so bad. And I was curious as to why today my mind was bored. Why not yesterday or why not next week. What was it about today in particular that I was bored.

Wasn't very long before I had the answer. My mind began running funny images through my mind to distract me from thinking. Images of the Stay Puff marshmallow man from the movie Ghostbuster, images from other funny movies that I love, and then drifting into childhood memories of fun and playfulness. Playing 'kick the can' with all the neighborhood kids in the summer just as the sun was going down. Softball in our backyard, catching minnows in the creek that ran behind our property--many times of laughter and fun.

I realized my mind was showing me that there is more to Life than just sitting in my head--that living in gratitude means LIVING--as in being outside of myself and actually living in the world, not just my head. So as each image, each memory flashed through my vision I felt something heal within me and replaced with something new and fresh within. It was like each happy thought opened a door to more freedom and my desire to allow my inner life and outer life to be the same increased.

For those of you who know me, you know that I tend to be on the serious side and don't 'let my hair down' very often. Not that I'm a stick-in-the-mud or anything, but I guess I had separated parts of my life from other parts and kept the playfulness and fun for only certain times. That all changed as I saw the dam that separated my inner and outer worlds burst open and, once again, my Inner Chicken surfed the waves with the theme song to Hawaii 5-0 blaring in my head.

The only appropriate response was to laugh out loud and be thankful for my life because--really--how many of you have an Inner Chicken?

So today my Inner Chicken and I are grateful for Life. And I think we just might spend the day surfing the waves of gratitude and seeing where it takes us.

In gratitude, Bonnie   

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 8

My mind gets so impatient when it feels I'm not moving forward fast enough. It is always wanting more, more, more and faster. This impatience stems from an old belief that there is not enough, so better get it right now. And that was my experience this morning.

Impatience when nothing 'grand' seemed to be happening. I love those mountain top experiences. You know the ones where you feel on top of the world and everything is laid at your feet. Your energy is high and you are in the zone. I love that and truth is that there are many other ways to experience transformation as well.

Those gentle moments of gratitude are just as powerful--when I am open to noticing them. Like a warm gentle breeze blowing freshness into my home, so is that gentle, easy flow of gratitude bringing freshness into my life--and I am transforming.

This journey with gratitude is building a new foundation from which to live my life. My old foundation which was based on past pain was like a huge dam filled with thousands of leaks and threatening to overwhelm me should I not contain it all. What an exhausting way to live!

Today I have a new image. The dam has broken and I'm riding the waves using the energy released to fuel my new foundation, my new way of living in this world.

No longer afraid of being overwhelmed, I am now free to build anew. And I hear myself on that surfboard yelling "Ride the waves baby. Ride the waves."

Gratitude Experiment--Day 5

Resistance--what a great teacher! It was inevitable this resistance. The conscious mind doesn't think much of change after all and loves the status quo. To spend time in the state of gratitude--and gratitude IS a state of being--opens you up to change. And resistance arises, like an old pair of slippers.

I embraced my resistance and expressed gratitude for it. 'Thank you resistance! How wonderful to see you again old friend. I acknowledge and honor you as being part of who I am. Welcome.' It seemed insane at first to embrace my resistance because, after all, we resist feeling it don't we? But what we resist persists. And so we sat together--my resistance and me. Just sat in gratitude that I actually had resistance--realizing that resistance has a positive intention, which is to keep my safe.

And in that moment of safety I felt the shift. How precious is life! My life, regardless of what I do or don't have, despite the situations I find myself in--my life IS precious. Your life is precious. The very act of living is precious.

Last night my husband & I attended a charity gala. I got all 'gussied up' as my mother called it and Jim wore his tux. We've always had a great time before at this annual gala, but this year was a very different experience. The room was noisy & chaotic and several of the people at our table spent the evening drinking and texting rather than talking.

So we left early and came home. I quickly shed the fancy clothes and slipped into my favorite pair of flannel pajamas. Just the man I love and myself--together and grateful.

That experience last night showed me what I value most--a life of simplicity with people I love and who love me right back. Being myself in every moment. Being grateful for all my experiences--whether I like them or not.

So there I sat in my flannel pajamas filled with happy smiling frogs. Nothing to prove, nothing to do, nothing to be--just me in the moment. Content, happy and grateful for everything.

Enjoying the essence of my life now.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

The Freedom of Gratitude--the 30 day experiment

Gratitude is a powerful tool for change and it is available to you in every moment of your life.

Last night I spoke to about 40 women at a networking group. My topic was the Attitude of Gratitude.  Katie & I are teaching a teleseminar this month on the Freedom of Gratitude.  It seems that the topic of Gratitude is in the air this month—and much needed at this time too. 

Yesterday morning while preparing for my talk, I was guided to spend minutes sitting in gratitude.  No asking for anything, no writing in a journal, no ‘doing’. Just 10 minutes of being grateful for what I already have.  What an experience!

Now 90% of my life is amazing and running smoothly. That leaves 10% just not where I want to be. What I didn't realize until I sat in gratitude for 10 minutes that the past several months I was so focused on the 10% that wasn't working that I forgot about being thankful for the 90% that IS wonderful! Worry & fear wil do that to you--make you forget everything but the loss, the disappointment, the lack!

Within just a few minutes I felt such incredible warmth spread through my body & my heart opening in ways it never did before. As I became aware of my old negative thinking, it began shifting and changing—remember no ‘doing’ just ‘being’. 

Suddenly I was shown every situation, time, event in my life where I had ALWAYS gotten what I needed and asked for.  I mean EVERY time.  I also realized that the limitations and trials that came with each opportunity were of my own making.

Even when I was receiving everything that I asked for—my negativity was limiting my experience. Everything showed up according to what I expected and what I allowed.

Wow!  Talk about a total shift in consciousness and emotional healing!  I view my past completely differently now.  My whole life has opened up in new ways---just using the power of gratitude. 

SO—I have committed to spending 10 minutes in gratitude for the next 30 days. I’m doing this because the past 2 days have opened me to so much more than I imagined existed.

The experiment is simple—10 minutes a day sitting in gratitude.  Doing nothing—no journaling, no commanding—just being present to the presence of gratefulness in your life.  That’s it.  10 minutes a day for 30 days.  Come join me!

Every day I will share with you my experiences from my 10 minutes of gratitude.  Ii'm excited to discover what lies on the other side of 30 days!

In gratitude,

Bonnie

Can You Believe.....

Can you believe we are in the holiday season - AGAIN!  It seems hard to believe that spring and summer are far behind and it is almost Halloween in the U.S.  Talk about being a Brave Woman - who in most cultures carries the holidays? In my family of origin and the communities that I grew up in, it is us - the women of the family. We tend to carry the traditions and responsibilites (and the blessings), of the holidays.

 If that is true for you please add your comments and suggestions to this conversation. Those of you who have known Bonnie and I for a long time know that we focus parts of what we teach to moving from survival to thrival in all that we do. We recognize your issues, but we put the power of solutions first in our own lives and in how we teach and coach.

In my own life, I 'lost' both parents on holidays - I mean the actual days! My dad passed on Easter Day and my mom on Christmas Day. They are certainly not 'lost' at all, I know exactly where they are, and it is good. So how do I keep the holidays good for me? I embrace time with my dearest friends. I serve meals at Shelters, I call my elderly cousin in Assisted living back east, I serve myself by loving time with others.

Helen Keller said, Life is a great adventure, or it is nothing at all. And I add to that Life is fulfilling and joyful, or it is nothing at all - and I am the one who decides how that happens. I make the choice to be happy or not.  And by the way, Abraham Lincoln said, People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be. So, I make up my mind to be happy.

Use the tools you have to keep yourself in joy, I use The One Command and Ho'oponopono and certain things I read everyday, like my own journal and TUT online, and other things that joyfully show up in my inbox.

The sun is out in WA state today - as much as I love the rain - the sun makes it a happy day.

Love and blessings, Katie

Falling Out of Love with My Drama

Falling Out of Love with My Drama

I have been fortunate to study with some of the most amazing teachers over the decades, and all of them have talked about letting go of the drama in your life.

It took me awhile to truly let go of it all and learn to live in the present, to be present with my own life and with everyone in it.

I found that I took myself through several steps to get to the Freedom I desired:

Step 1- Forgiveness

In order to start the clearing out process I realized that forgiveness was the key that would open the lock to all else that was within. Even though I knew better, it was still easy to get caught up in the idea that by forgiving the person, I was approving the act. And also that forgiveness was for the other person when it is really always for us and our own inner peace. Once I got myself past those old mind-sets, it was all downhill from there – simply a process of letting go.

Step 2 – My History

How many of us are ‘married’ to our stories. It is easy to believe that if we give up our ‘story’ we will no longer be ourselves and we will never be able to rectify what has happened and create something new. The truth is, it is your stories that keep you stuck and interfere with your capacity to create the new life you want. Once you choose to create what you want instead of what you have, you have no need for what was.

Step 3 – My Future

Finally I got to the point of looking ‘forward’ even though I am aware from quantum physics that there is no time – just ask Einstein.  For me this was sort of a way station. It was a place I lived for a while until I really understood that my future is right now. It was useful in the sense that at least I had separated out from my past.

Step 4 – My Now

This is where I want to live for the duration.  Staying in the present is so much more interesting than you might ever imagine. This is where your greater capacity lives and this is where your joy resides

In the present you are always fresh, new and available to every idea, opportunity and resource that your world is offering to you.

I wouldn’t choose to live anywhere else.

Love and blessings, Katie

The Weight of Objects

The Weight of Objects
Clearing a Space for Change

From The Daily OM

We hold onto material objects because we think they make us feel secure, when in reality they are cluttering our lives.

In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most people are not conscious of how much they own and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life. They fiercely hold on to material objects because this makes them feel secure or comfortable. While it’s true that the ownership of “stuff” can make you feel good for awhile, it seldom satisfies the deep inner longings that nearly everyone has for fulfillment and satisfaction. It is only when we are ready to let go of our baggage and be vulnerable that it becomes possible to recognize the emotional hold that our possessions can have on us.

It’s not uncommon to hold on to material objects because we are attached to them or fear the empty spaces that will remain if we get rid of them. Giving away the souvenirs from a beloved voyage may feel like we are erasing the memory of that time in our life. We may also worry that our loved ones will feel hurt if we don’t keep the gifts they’ve given us. It’s easy to convince ourselves that unused possessions might come in handy someday or that parting with them will cause you emotional pain. However, when your personal space is filled with objects, there is no room for anything new to enter and stay in your life. Your collection of belongings may “protect” you from the uncertainties of an unknown future while keeping you stuck in the past. Holding on to unnecessary possessions often goes hand in hand with holding on to pain, anger, and resentment, and letting go of your material possessions may help you release emotional baggage.

When you make a conscious decision to fill your personal space with only the objects that you need or bring you joy, your energy level will soar. Clearing your personal space can lead to mental clarity and an improved memory. As you learn to have a more practical and temporary relationship to objects, positive changes will happen, and you’ll have space to create the life that you desire.