My Journey of Gratitude - Day 29

This morning's journey took me into a place of stillness and inner peace. I enjoyed the feeling of silence around me and the stillness within me, but that was just the beginning of my journey.

Gratitude led to peace which took me to a place of deepest love--love of life and love for life.

This is that place of every-thing and no-thing. The 'void' that I used to fear but now wrap around me like a warm blanket. It is always in this void, this place before creation, that I experience my deepest truths and my deepest understandings. It is not a place I get to often, but today I did.

Sitting in this energy of every-thing and no-thing, I am free to be re-created into a new thing.

Gratitude exists in this place as well. I'm finding that gratitude exists everywhere. It feels like the glue that holds the universe together and allows Love to enter in.

Love and fear are the only 2 real emotions. Everything else you experience are aspects of one or the other. It is impossible for them to exist in the same place at the time. You are either in a state of love or a state of fear in any given moment.

The state of gratitude opens the door for love to enter in and reside within you. Fear, then has no room and no reason to exist.

But we live in a world of duality--good/evil, right/wrong, gain/loss--with fear, chaos and conflict seemingly in charge. That is one aspect of reality, but it does not need to be the only aspect I experience.

With each day of this journey I understand on ever deepening levels not just the importance and benefits of living in gratitude, but the amazing tool for transformation that gratitude is.

No other tool is as easy to employ to change your experience of life. It costs nothing, needs no user manual to assemble and is available to you in every moment.

You simply close your eyes, take a deep breath and say 'thank you'. Your Spirit self can take it from there.

Gratitude can be the next great adventure of your life--if you allow it.

My eyes closed, a deep breath and thank you for being on this journey with me.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 28

Some days I just have to laugh at what a slow learner I can be. Today is one of those days! I began my usual process of stepping into gratitude, especially giving thanks for these past 30 days, which are quickly coming to an end.

As I was expressing my gratitude for an experience yesterday that I would preferred to not have had, I realized that being in a state of gratitude does not keep me from feeling old worries and fears, nor does it protect me from the challenges in life. I find that I still worry and fret over what isn't going well in my life and at times old beliefs still pop up and get in my way. It's part of the human experience I suppose; just not the most pleasant part.

The state of gratitude does not guarantee me sunshine and rainbows every day.
What it does do is give me an essential tool to quickly shift my perspective and my experience.

Remember that gratitude is also a choice. I can take the time, even in the midst of anger or worry, to choose to feel gratitude for something. I may not enter the state of gratitude, but I can certainly shift my mood with the feeling of gratitude. To say to myself "I choose this instead of that."

With that understanding came an image of how I've been practicing gratitude up to this point. Practicing it--not being it. It is a journey after all, not a destination, so learning wisdom along the way is a good thing.

The image I saw was of me carrying a huge, heavy rock. This rock was so big that it blocked my view of where I was heading. I had to crane my neck to see around it, but right in front of me--just a big ole piece of impenetrable rock.

Now the interesting thing is that I've carried this 2 ton piece of earth with me for so long that it became part of me--who knew!

I saw that during this journey of stepping into gratitude, I would unconsciously put the rock down, step into gratitude and have my beautiful experience--and then pick up that darn rock again and continue on my not-so-merry way. No wonder I often feel exhausted and can't always 'see' where I'm headed!

Because change is a choice, gratitude is a choice--I made a choice to let go of the rock and try something new. I didn't need nor did I want that rock any longer, and I no longer wanted my journey of gratitude to be separate from who I am, what I do and where I'm headed.

At first the rock turned into a pile of gifts--gifts that I can offer to others, but they were still heavy and still blocked my vision. Not yet matching my vision.

So I sat there as gratitude came to me--that was a new experience. Gratitude stepping into me rather than vice versa. As I allowed myself to be bathed in and invigorated by this state of gratitude, the gifts disappeared completely and there was only me standing there with no obstacles to block my vision.

Me. My knowledge, skills, talents and personality are the gifts I bring to my life and to my clients. Who I am-exactly as I am--is the gift I bring.

Who you are, exactly as you are-that is the gift you bring to the world.

And that knowing my friends is worth this entire journey! For this I am most grateful.

What are your stories, your questions, your opinions? I am grateful for you in my life and would love to hear from you.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 26

Through my experiences on this journey of gratitude I have learned that expressing thankfulness is one aspect of gratitude.  Feeling gratitude is another aspect.  Being in the state of gratitude amplifies both expression (thoughts) and feeling and creates a different energy--a new vibration that is more powerful than its separate parts.  Being in the state of being called gratitude, this new energy moves from being in the mind only into the body and expands both.  It truly becomes a body-mind-spirit experience of gratitude.

I felt the shift more deeply this morning.  Instead of my awareness being experienced in my mind, my conscious awareness going up & out, the expansion of gratitude dropped down & in so that I experienced body-mind-spirit all in gratitude at once--as one being state.

This was an experience of deepening that opened greater understanding of who I am beyond this physical body.  I feel a healing of separation happening, not yet complete, but spreading.  A blending that is at once curious and exciting.

You know that experience where you reach a certain point and the experience takes on a life of its own and continues to grow and spread exponentially?  It feels very much like the beginning of new life--three things (thoughts, feeling and state of being) coming together in creation.  The big bang theory.  The beginning of new life.  An expansion in control of itself.

I feel it in my cells as well as my thoughts.  Something new and different has been creating and is developing organically on its own. 

Just as I was excited about meeting the new life that was growing within me each time I was pregnant, I feel new life growing within me now--body-mind-spirit and I am excited about the possibilities and the final outcome when what has been created is birthed into my life.

Today I feel a new state of gratitude growing within me and I am most thankful for the changes I feel.  This journey is giving birth to a new me and I am excited about meeting her when she is ready to be born anew into this reality.

As always, I would love to hear about your experiences, your questions and your stories.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 25

The more time I spend in gratitude, the less I have to say. After a while it is the state of being in gratitude that becomes the norm and words seem to pale in comparison.

The holiday season is in full swing now and my journey with gratitude has changed how I feel about this time of year and how I plan to celebrate it. This year I hold a deeper send of joy and peace within myself than in years past. It is a peace and joy that no longer needs the frenzy of shopping or trying to find just the right gift for someone to make their Christmas special.

That is an old trap that keeps me focused on being perfect and feeds the erroneous belief that I am personally responsible for the joy of the season. And that is a path that robs me of the joy, peace and magic that is meant to be part of this year.

This year, using the state of gratitude, I am opening the doors to expect and experience magic and miracles to show up in my life in wonderful new ways. My focus for this season is different. I will be spending more time in joy-filled activities with those I love and very little time out in the crazy chaos of shopping.

Instead, I will take pleasure in making gifts for loved ones as I used to do many years ago. To create, bake, simmer, sew and knit for others has always brought me great pleasure. Thinking of the person as I create something just for them keeps me in that state of gratitude; I can pour my love and best wishes into everything I make.

This time in gratitude has rearranged my priorities and shown me what is truly important in my life--and 'things' aren't it. Spending time with those I love, creating new memories and new traditions and engaging in activities that make us laugh and appreciate life more--that is where the magic of the season is.

In each other.

As my 30 day journey of gratitude draws to a close this week, I feel the shift from "I" more and more into 'we' and 'us'. My sense of 'I' is so filled with gratitude as a way of living that it can't help but spill over to others. This journey really is not just about me; it is about 'all'.

As I prepare to re-enter my life differently, I am grateful for each new understanding and each new event that comes my way.

In gratitude for all,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 23

Today is Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S. and we are spending today with family. Any day I spend with my children and grandchildren is a day to be grateful, but this day most of all.

I began my meditation with an open heart filling with thoughts of each family member. There is a new grandbaby on her way, so extra special gratitude for a new life among us. One daughter has found 'the one' and he is being introduced to the whole clan today. I am grateful for her newfound happiness and also that this family so easily opens its arms and heart to embrace new life and new love as we continue to grow.

As I continued to sit in my state of gratitude, allowing my mind to take me to new places, my physical body responded to me. Not in the warm glow of gratitude way that I normally experience, but something different. It immediately got my attention.

There was a response to the gratitude--a living response as my body flowed it back to me. It was like standing at a top of a canyon yelling "Hello. I love you' and expecting those words to be echoed back. Instead I heard "I love you too." A surprise as I realized for the first time that gratitude is a 2-way communication!

All this time I've sent thanks and love to my body for all it does for me, yet had never considered the possibility that my body would respond in kind.

As a medical intuitive who works with the physical body and health all the time you'd think I wouldn't have been surprised, but there I sat in amazement as this deeper communication between us continued--as equals and co-creators of my life.

My body does more than just reflect my thoughts; it responds with its own as well. And isn't that really how it should be--my body as more than a reflection of me, but an active co-creator? Isn't that how it is supposed to be for each of us?

After all, doesn't my body house my Essence? Why wouldn't we consciously co-create not only my health, but my life? Why wouldn't we work in cooperation and harmony with each other?

This morning the meaning of being 'present in my body' took on a whole new depth of understanding and experience. Gratitude is not just a feeling, not just a state of being--it is also a 2-way communication. Whether that be between body-mind or two people, gratitude is a divine method of communication.

I am grateful today for the body I live in and it is grateful for my presence and my acknowledgement.

New doors have just opened.

I welcome your comments and experiences!

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 21

This morning's journey began with frustration. Frustration because some things I'm working towards are not happening, or at least not happening at the speed I want. So my meditation began with a bit of cursing the challenges I face. Why me? Why not me? What good is it to be grateful for my troubles and challenges? That just smacks of my old religious upbringing to be grateful for what little God gives me!

So there I sat with my questions and gave thanks for them. Even if I couldn't feel grateful for the challenges, I was at least grateful for the questions. It didn't take long for the answers to move through me.

Gratitude must come from the inside. When I look outside of myself to what I do or do not have, it is easy to lose that sense of gratitude because gratitude will never come from outside of myself. It is an 'inside job' and that's where the powerful of gratitude lies--within each of us. Not out in the world we experience, but within each one of us is the seed of gratitude.

'Challenges, problems, troubles, difficulties, not-enoughness'--are words we have assigned a negative meaning to and they come with energy that contracts us rather than expands us.

What if I shifted my perspective and thought of them as 'opportunities'? After all, isn't that what they really are--opportunities to take action, make a new decision, re-evaluate, let go, embrace, to say yes please or no thank you to situations in our lives. How would that change my feelings about what happens around me?

An instant internal shift happened and I again slipped into that gentle warmth of gratitude. Thankful for a new understanding; thankful that I asked a better question and received a better answer. Thankful that by simply changing my perception of words I shifted from contraction into the expansive energy of gratitude.

So now I understand that the situations I face are opportunities for me to re-think and re-choose the direction I want to move on this journey that is my life.

That is a powerful understanding to receive!

And it makes all the difference in the world to me. Instead of contracting into frustration and old patterns, gratitude expanded me into new ways of thinking about my reality. How 'real' do I want this situation to be--and what do I want to be real for me instead? Again--a better question yields a better answer.

I am grateful for the opportunities to succeed that are now open before me. I have some re-thinking and re-choosing to do today!

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 20

The joy of gratitude!  Yesterday I experienced my body taking over and releasing past painful events.  There was beauty and grace in that experience and I felt much lighter afterwards.  Releasing old stuff is always a good thing.

This morning's journey took me on a very different path--the path of joy in living.  Because my childhood was full of chaos and pain, my focus for years was healing and creating a fresh start, and so I did.

What I often forget along the way--I think we all often forget--is that joy, love and fun are also part of living.

Flashes of happy times flowed through me, increasing and deepening my sense of gratitude and unleashing the joy that had been forgotten.  The years and events flew by like watching a movie in fast forward as I remembered the good times and the people who loved and supported me.

The memory of joy that stood out the brightest was holding my first born daughter in my arms.  I was a teenage mom and there had been plenty of drama around that.  But when I looked at her and she looked at me all that faded away.  For the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to truly love another without reservation.  Until that moment I had no idea that I was capable of such love.

My memories then flowed to the birth of my 3 other babies and how each time I wasn't sure I could be any more open to love, blessings and joy--I was.

Life has a way of getting in the way of gratitude and love if we stop paying attention.  To have this experience today--to feel joy released and to remember how truly blessed I am is wonderful.  It is a good reminder that the good and the difficult all exist around me and it is my focus that determines my experience and my reality now.

Today I am grateful for the journey of my life.  A corner has been turned on this 20th day of gratitude and a new adventure awaits.  So today my Inner Chicken and I will ride the waves of this new grand adventure, feeling blessed to be alive.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 18

The more time I spend in this state of gratitude, the more I learn about who I am and who I am becoming and that leads to feeling even more gratitude. And I continue to fall in love with myself more every day in new ways. What an incredible Being I really am--amazing how I never saw that before. Amazing how we forget to remember how amazing we each are.

As I keep my focus on gratitude, I notice subtle shifts within. Increasingly I am more open to seeing life as a journey and less needing to try to control my outcomes. What a relief that is! To begin giving up controlling my life and how it turns out and relax into the moment as it is--priceless.

I already know my eventual destination, so why not be open to the journey itself and enjoying the outcomes rather than fearing them. That is a huge shift for me. I've always been a destination kinda gal--focusing more on getting to the finish line and forgetting to notice the cool things along the way.

Other changes are beginning to show up in my life as well--physical changes. As I physically relax into this journey of gratitude I am sleeping more. Never realized how wound up and constricted I had become the past couple of years with trying to do things the 'right' way and control the outcomes. The more I relax, the slower my pace the more I actually accomplish. Seems counter-intuitive I know--but it's real.

And I am physically detoxing a bit as the energy of gratitude floods my body, flushing out the old 'not enoughness' that was trapped. A bit uncomfortable certainly, but also refreshing as my body continues to let go of what it no longer needs to hold.

My outlook on life is definitely brighter--this attitude of gratitude is becoming a constant presence in my life. More and more when an old habitual thought of worry or fear arises, I am flooded with feelings, images and thoughts of all I have to be grateful for. A new habit of gratitude as my natural state of being is arising.

I find that I'm walking around in love with people and with the world instead of shrinking away from the chaos and pain. All good and all bad still exist out there. We do live in a world of polarity, but the difference for me is where I now place my focus. Gratitude is not only a state of being, it is also a choice. A choice that I make every moment in my life. To choose gratitude over fear. To choose to focus on all that is good in life and allow my experience of life to be simpler, happier.

I no longer feel the need to save the world. Did I really believe that I could? Loving myself and my life one day at a time is enough. If we each do that, the world won't need saving.

In the meantime, life is meant to be an adventure and we are meant to enjoy the journey--living full out to the best we can.

Cue the Hawaii 5-0 theme song and my Inner Chicken riding the waves of life!

In gratitude, Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 16

I want to first thank a good friend of mine for helping me yesterday to clear some of the old stuff that has arisen during this journey of mine. Whenever you make a shift of any kind your frequency changes and whatever you've been holding that no longer resonates with that new 'you' shakes loose and needs to be released. That is what healing is all about--letting go of what no longer fits. So yesterday my friend Sue helped me let go of all that had shaken loose and I feel so much more freedom. For that I am grateful.

So this morning, feeling more freedom within and without, I sat down to practice my 10 minutes of gratitude. It was easier to get into that state of gratitude this morning because most of the chatter that I normally have to move through was gone. A big WooHoo! on that score!

What is left behind is a deeper warmth, like glowing embers after the logs have burned themselves down. A calm, steady warmth that spread through me, deep into my bones.

Not the high that I've always felt before; you know that mountain top experience we often get. But with every high must come a leveling out because we are not called to live at the top of the mountain all the time--or at least I'm not. I am called to live amongst people and be of service from within the community, not separate from them.

And so a new sense of gratitude was born within me today. It feels like I found myself again and, even better, I fell in love with myself all over again.

Today I am grateful for the slow, steady glow of gratitude that warms me and tells me that I am 'home' at last.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

Before I begin talking about my experience this morning with gratitude I'd like to answer a couple of questions that I've received from people following my journey.

How do I get started and what do I do once I've started?

I always start my 10 minute mediation by closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Then I begin with my gratitude prayers--thank you for my life, thank you for my ability to breathe, and then I move through gratefulness for my husband, children, grandchildren, friends and opportunities. After that I take another deep breath and quiet my mind and allow myself to feel the gratitude for all those things. Some days it flows smoothly and other days it's more challenging.

 
Just like today--I had a few false starts and had to start over again. It's a journey, not a destination I have to remind myself. Simply a journey.

OK. On to my experience this morning. And an interesting one it was as I mark the mid-way point of this 30 day journey. A bit of a challenge to settle down into gratitude. My conscious mind was running wild with thoughts of today's 'to do' list and I even found myself worrying about getting my Christmas shopping done. Lots of resistance for some reason.

At first I tried reining the thoughts in, which of course did not work. So I allowed them to scurry across my inner vision unhindered, like clouds being blown across the sky by a strong wind.

Then it happened--I felt a sudden, subtle shift and my mind went completely still and time seemed to stop. All sounds silenced and my outer world ceased to exist.

I sat in this profound silence and felt myself floating in what felt like a primordial soup of everything and nothing. Of course, the moment I was aware I popped out of it, but then would fall right back into it again. So there I sate, blinking in and out from what felt like existence to non-existence, from particle to wave to particle again. Back and forth, in and out, feeling gratitude in both states of being. But gratitude in a very different way that is difficult to describe.

 

I've had this experience before when in deep meditation, but this was the first time I blinked back and forth, bringing gratitude with me.

Instead of experiencing the feeling of gratitude, I believe I experienced the knowing of it--the true state of it. I believe I tapped into that place where all things manifest--the unified field that exists all around us and I felt a presence of something very wonderful.

And for that I am most grateful today.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 13

A funny thing about opening to feelings--you can't just pick and choose which feelings you allow. It's not possible to say "I will only feel the 'good' feelings today." That's because feelings are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. They are just feelings brought on by your thoughts.

So the other day when the dam burst open and everything that was backed up came pouring forth, I understood that would mean that all my feelings were free to express themselves. And they certainly have!

Yesterday was my impatience and today my sadness made its appearance. Not the profound sadness of years past, but the sadness of unanswered prayers, missed opportunities and things I have done or left undone.

Earlier this morning I read a passage that fit perfectly for this moment. "Bask in the luxury of feeling fully understood and unconditionally loved." So I did. As I stepped more fully into that state of gratitude feeling fully understood and unconditionally loved, I allowed the sadness to flow through me, freeing it from the prison of my body. A sweet gentleness flowed in to fill the empty spaces where sadness had previously lived.

The more I let go of what no longer serves me and what I have imprisoned in my body, the more free I am to fully live the life I love. I begin my day in a place of serenity and knowingness.

Today I am grateful for my ability to fully experience all my emotions and to bask in the luxury of being fully understood and unconditionally loved.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 12

Gratitude was a bit harder to come by this morning. Lack of patience though showed up in abundance. That great yummy feeling that I normally slip into, that fullness of the heart, was a no show today. I stuck with it though because this is, after all, a journey not a destination. Just because I'm not feeling the gratitude in any given moment doesn't mean that I'm not grateful, just that I'm not in the feeling of it.

I'm imperfect. Oh no--was that my outdoor voice!? Parts of me were horrified at that admission while other parts relieved that I finally got it. It really shouldn't have been such a big surprise--because we all know that no one is perfect. But it was that sudden 'knowing' that took me by surprise. You know that moment when you really get it--and once you truly know something you can never again unknow it. Obviously some part of me thought my imperfections were a well kept secret, though I'm sure if you ask my husband or my kids they'd just roll their eyes and snort.

So I sat in gratitude with my imperfect self. I sat with the shame that came bursting forth from that admission and continued to give thanks for this journey of getting to know myself in deeper ways. I was really clueless that parts of me were still trying to be perfect--and successfully failing. Trying to be perfect is just an old survival strategy from childhood that was waiting for an opportunity to be healed.

And like a dam bursting as the seams, the shame, blame and guilt bottled up inside came flooding out in a torrent. Instead of being met with resistance or denial though, I allowed those feelings to flow up and out in a state of gratitude. Because, really--who needs to keep those 3 feelings as a constant companion?

To be honest--today was really uncomfortable for me; not the happy love-fest I experienced at the beginning. But it was real, it was honest and it quickly passed, because I stayed in gratitude for the experience.

Every journey has its wonders and its trials. There are days of ease and days of effort. Yet with each step on this journey I move forward and each day holds something to be grateful for. That is what I hold on to when gratitude is not so easy to find.

I am grateful for the gift of my imperfections for they remind me to love myself even more and they remind me that we are all just doing the best we can with what we've got. Embracing my imperfections allows me to let go of who I think I'm suppose to be and appreciate the fullness of who I actually am.

And that, my friends, was worth the 10 minutes of uncomfortable gratitude this morning.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 9

My vulnerability is my strength and I am grateful for that realization.

A couple of things I want to talk about today. For years I've been meditating and all those years I always needed to hold a pillow or cover my solar plexus up in someway. Couldn't meditate without that. This morning during my 10 minutes of gratitude I noticed that I was not covering myself up and hadn't for the past couple of days. That is a huge shift for me. To be open and vulnerable with no need to protect parts of me. It became so natural to not put a pillow or blanket in front of me that I didn't notice it for 3 days. For this new openness I am grateful.

Until yesterday I didn't realize how vulnerable being in gratitude makes you. In fact I hadn't even thought of myself as being more vulnerable until an experience yesterday with a person who made a few mean-spirited remarks to me for reasons of her own. My first reaction was to feel hurt and shut down, but that is now such a foreign feeling that I was immediately aware of the shift from open gratitude to fear.

You see to me being vulnerable use to mean being weak, helpless and open for hurt. It meant that I was allowing anyone to come along and behave badly towards me, so no way was I going to be vulnerable!

My experience with gratitude this morning showed me the true meaning of vulnerability--being fully present in my life, in my body and in the moment. Fully present with myself and for others. My vulnerability is my strength, my gift to myself and to others. For only in the present and in my presence do I allow myself to be known.

Being vulnerable is my strength. It is what makes me the healer and teacher that I am. This journey of gratitude has shown me how I have closed myself off in the past and how much more Life and Light I have when I am open, vulnerable and present.

There will certainly be times when I run into people who behave in unkind ways; we are all doing the best we can with what we have and so many people still live from their pain rather than their true nature. And I accept that people just do what people do and it is never personal really. There will be those times, but the difference today is that I know and understand that in any moment that I lose my presence, I will remember that I now have a higher value on living from a state of gratitude and can return to being present with a simple decision.

So to the person who was so unkind--I am grateful for your presence in my life and the gift of understanding that I received through your action. And to my friends that I turned to when I felt misunderstood, I am most grateful for the mirror you always hold up so that I can see my true reflection of who I am as a woman, a friend, a healer, a teacher.

My vulnerability is my strength and for that I am grateful today.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 8

My mind gets so impatient when it feels I'm not moving forward fast enough. It is always wanting more, more, more and faster. This impatience stems from an old belief that there is not enough, so better get it right now. And that was my experience this morning.

Impatience when nothing 'grand' seemed to be happening. I love those mountain top experiences. You know the ones where you feel on top of the world and everything is laid at your feet. Your energy is high and you are in the zone. I love that and truth is that there are many other ways to experience transformation as well.

Those gentle moments of gratitude are just as powerful--when I am open to noticing them. Like a warm gentle breeze blowing freshness into my home, so is that gentle, easy flow of gratitude bringing freshness into my life--and I am transforming.

This journey with gratitude is building a new foundation from which to live my life. My old foundation which was based on past pain was like a huge dam filled with thousands of leaks and threatening to overwhelm me should I not contain it all. What an exhausting way to live!

Today I have a new image. The dam has broken and I'm riding the waves using the energy released to fuel my new foundation, my new way of living in this world.

No longer afraid of being overwhelmed, I am now free to build anew. And I hear myself on that surfboard yelling "Ride the waves baby. Ride the waves."

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 6

What started out as an Experiment has now become a Journey. My experience so far in 6 days of spending 10 minutes a day in Gratitude has taken on a life of its own and I'm now on a Journey of Gratitude, curious to see where this particular journey takes me.

Gratitude shows up in a myriad of forms-words of thankfulness, music that soothes the soul, visions and symbols, dreams, feelings, new rhythms and beats. There is no one way to be in the state of gratitude--only your way of being there. That may remain the same for you or, like me, change and move differently day to day.

Some days it is easy to feel the flow of gratitude coursing through my being and other days, not so much. This morning is one of those 'not so much' days.
At first I was worried that I couldn't feel that 'mountain top' experience of gratefulness and then I spent precious moment trying to make it happen.

"What a stupid experiment I'm doing! I MUST be grateful! Let me just change that ingratitude to gratitude right now."

Then I heard my inner voice tell me 'Relax into this moment and allow it to be whatever it is.' So I did. I took a deep breath and made the choice (and ALL change begins with a choice) and let go of my preconceived ideas of what I thought being in gratitude should be and allowed myself to just be in the flow of 'what is.'

That doesn't mean that I'm not grateful. I am. I still said my gratitude prayers, thanking & blessing all that I have in my life. I just wasn't 'feeling' it if you know what I mean.

Life has an ebb and a flow--like the tide. So I sat and focused on the ebb and flow of my breathing. In and out. Breathing in and bringing in. Breathing out and letting go. In and out.

Meister Eckhart said "If all you ever say in your whole life is 'thank you' that will suffice.'

So for today I just said 'thank you that I am alive' and I trust that is enough.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

Gratitude Experiment--Day 5

Resistance--what a great teacher! It was inevitable this resistance. The conscious mind doesn't think much of change after all and loves the status quo. To spend time in the state of gratitude--and gratitude IS a state of being--opens you up to change. And resistance arises, like an old pair of slippers.

I embraced my resistance and expressed gratitude for it. 'Thank you resistance! How wonderful to see you again old friend. I acknowledge and honor you as being part of who I am. Welcome.' It seemed insane at first to embrace my resistance because, after all, we resist feeling it don't we? But what we resist persists. And so we sat together--my resistance and me. Just sat in gratitude that I actually had resistance--realizing that resistance has a positive intention, which is to keep my safe.

And in that moment of safety I felt the shift. How precious is life! My life, regardless of what I do or don't have, despite the situations I find myself in--my life IS precious. Your life is precious. The very act of living is precious.

Last night my husband & I attended a charity gala. I got all 'gussied up' as my mother called it and Jim wore his tux. We've always had a great time before at this annual gala, but this year was a very different experience. The room was noisy & chaotic and several of the people at our table spent the evening drinking and texting rather than talking.

So we left early and came home. I quickly shed the fancy clothes and slipped into my favorite pair of flannel pajamas. Just the man I love and myself--together and grateful.

That experience last night showed me what I value most--a life of simplicity with people I love and who love me right back. Being myself in every moment. Being grateful for all my experiences--whether I like them or not.

So there I sat in my flannel pajamas filled with happy smiling frogs. Nothing to prove, nothing to do, nothing to be--just me in the moment. Content, happy and grateful for everything.

Enjoying the essence of my life now.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

Gratitude Experiment--Day 4

Here's what I experienced from my 10 minutes in gratitude this morning.

Being grateful for your life in this moment, no matter what your current circumstances, does not mean that you are content or ok with where you are. By saying thank you for what is now is not the same as being satisfied for what is. You are not saying "I'm grateful for this debt. I'm grateful for this illness." Or whatever is happening in your life now. That is a common misunderstanding--or fear we often have about saying thank you for what is.

By saying thank you for the money that I DO have expands you beyond the fear of not enough. Thank you for the love I DO have in my life opens you to even more.

Everything is energy. What you think, feel and do is energy. And energy either expands or contracts. Gratitude is an expansive energy and when you take the time to be grateful for even one thing in your life--your energy expands and flows in ways you may not notice. But it does.

Gratitude is more than a feeling. It is a state of being. The more time you spend in this state of being, the more it becomes part of your true nature.
Gratitude is the energy of 'even more'. And you can certainly add that in your thank yous.

Thank you for the business I DO have. I am so grateful. And I open to having even more. Thank you.

Gratitude Experiment--Day 3

My 10 minutes of gratitude was very different this morning. After my mind blowing experiences of Day 1 & 2, I met the resistance to change that seems to be pop up when change is threatening to occur. While we often say we want change and even work towards change, when it comes right down to it there is a part that resists the change out of fear.

And that's what I met this morning--my fear of changing! I sat with the fear and listened to its message. What if you get what you want? What will happen to 'me'? ME? Who is the 'me' that was speaking and what is the fear?

Sitting in the energy of gratitude is so powerful because I didn't have to do anything about the fear but witness it. Being in the freedom of gratitude opens me up to more Light and with more Light comes understanding. No judging, no arguing, no wishing anything away. Just more Light.

So in this expansion of gratitude what I realized was that a part of me has been so identified with scarcity, lack and struggle that the very thought of living differently meant annihilation of self. Powerful understanding!

In gratitude I looked at my patterns of struggle and lack--beginning with my parents and how they lived. Reviewing my childhood programming growing up very poor and how I lived what I believed to be real in my first marriage and even now in my relationship with my husband. My unconscious EXPECTATION was that life & marriage IS about struggle, lack and scarcity. What else would I expect because that was what I was trained to believe and trained to do--always worry about money, regardless of how much or little I had.

It explained that no matter how wonderful my life was going I had an unconscious limit to how amazing I could let it be. When I tapped the 'fun meter' as my husband puts it, then my old anxiety and fears were triggered. Once triggered I made decisions and took actions that brought me back to my
old expectations of what was real for me.

Fascinating experience! As I witnessed this all playing out in the Light of gratitude, the old patterns dissolved on their own. And in their place was born something new and fresh and without words--feelings of being more than just OK. An openness to experience a new reality.

That's my thought for today! I would love to hear about your experiences with the Freedom of Gratitude.

In gratitude and thankfullness,

Bonnie

We are all One in the Divine

This beautiful video speaks to your spiritual journey.  We are all One.  We are all Divine.  We all want the same thing--to be connected in love with our Divine Nature.  Enjoy this video and feel free to pass it on.

The Freedom of Gratitude--the 30 day experiment

Gratitude is a powerful tool for change and it is available to you in every moment of your life.

Last night I spoke to about 40 women at a networking group. My topic was the Attitude of Gratitude.  Katie & I are teaching a teleseminar this month on the Freedom of Gratitude.  It seems that the topic of Gratitude is in the air this month—and much needed at this time too. 

Yesterday morning while preparing for my talk, I was guided to spend minutes sitting in gratitude.  No asking for anything, no writing in a journal, no ‘doing’. Just 10 minutes of being grateful for what I already have.  What an experience!

Now 90% of my life is amazing and running smoothly. That leaves 10% just not where I want to be. What I didn't realize until I sat in gratitude for 10 minutes that the past several months I was so focused on the 10% that wasn't working that I forgot about being thankful for the 90% that IS wonderful! Worry & fear wil do that to you--make you forget everything but the loss, the disappointment, the lack!

Within just a few minutes I felt such incredible warmth spread through my body & my heart opening in ways it never did before. As I became aware of my old negative thinking, it began shifting and changing—remember no ‘doing’ just ‘being’. 

Suddenly I was shown every situation, time, event in my life where I had ALWAYS gotten what I needed and asked for.  I mean EVERY time.  I also realized that the limitations and trials that came with each opportunity were of my own making.

Even when I was receiving everything that I asked for—my negativity was limiting my experience. Everything showed up according to what I expected and what I allowed.

Wow!  Talk about a total shift in consciousness and emotional healing!  I view my past completely differently now.  My whole life has opened up in new ways---just using the power of gratitude. 

SO—I have committed to spending 10 minutes in gratitude for the next 30 days. I’m doing this because the past 2 days have opened me to so much more than I imagined existed.

The experiment is simple—10 minutes a day sitting in gratitude.  Doing nothing—no journaling, no commanding—just being present to the presence of gratefulness in your life.  That’s it.  10 minutes a day for 30 days.  Come join me!

Every day I will share with you my experiences from my 10 minutes of gratitude.  Ii'm excited to discover what lies on the other side of 30 days!

In gratitude,

Bonnie