My Journey of Gratitude - Day 11

I am so grateful for early mornings! My husband is still asleep, the house is quiet and it feels like I have the world all to myself. It's my favorite time of day because every morning I get to choose anew who I am and how I want to live my life. Every morning is a 'do over' when, no matter what happened the day before, THIS day I get to be grateful for once again.

This morning my time in gratitude was met with a fair amount of fear at first. Fear that I was expanding and changing too fast. Like instead of driving my nice, dependable sedan, I had suddenly jumped behind the wheel of an expensive race car and took off at the speed of light.

"Who will you be if you keep going at this pace? What will become of me?" I heard in my mind. My inner child was worried that trouble lay ahead, because as a child whenever I spoke up, asked for what I wanted or did anything 'different', trouble ensured for someone. So early on I learned to keep a low profile, to stay contracted and off the radar.

But here I am now--on everybody's radar! Stepping up and stepping out in gratitude--and telling people about it.

So I took a deep breath and sat with my inner child and her fears, thanking them for being there, feeling gratitude for their presence. And there we sat, the 3 of us in a state of gratitude until the fear dissolved and love flowed in.

An old Billy Joel song began drifting through my mind--just parts of it. "Don't go changing to try and please me. I love you just the way you are." And I drifted deeper into the meaning of those words. I don't have to change anything about myself in order to be loved or in order to have what I want in life. Living in a state of gratitude changes everything without me having to force a change or trying to be perfect, whatever 'perfect' means.

Transformation is a natural outcome from gratitude and a spirit of thankfulness. With a deep sigh my body relaxed into a gentle easiness and lightness.

Today is a play date with 2 of my grandkids, ages 7 and almost 4. We're making pumpkin pies from real pumpkins. As a child I learned to bake from my grandmother. She wanted me to know that not everything comes from a can, and that's a tradition I carry on with my own grandkids. So today we will cut up the pumpkins, bake them and the seeds, then turn them into delicious pies.

Afterwards is our special movie night complete with pizza and root beer floats before being tucked into bed with kisses from their Mimi (that's me!)

My inner child is invited to join the fun.

I am grateful for this day and for my life. Every day is a gift that I treasure.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

Gratitude Experiment--Day 5

Resistance--what a great teacher! It was inevitable this resistance. The conscious mind doesn't think much of change after all and loves the status quo. To spend time in the state of gratitude--and gratitude IS a state of being--opens you up to change. And resistance arises, like an old pair of slippers.

I embraced my resistance and expressed gratitude for it. 'Thank you resistance! How wonderful to see you again old friend. I acknowledge and honor you as being part of who I am. Welcome.' It seemed insane at first to embrace my resistance because, after all, we resist feeling it don't we? But what we resist persists. And so we sat together--my resistance and me. Just sat in gratitude that I actually had resistance--realizing that resistance has a positive intention, which is to keep my safe.

And in that moment of safety I felt the shift. How precious is life! My life, regardless of what I do or don't have, despite the situations I find myself in--my life IS precious. Your life is precious. The very act of living is precious.

Last night my husband & I attended a charity gala. I got all 'gussied up' as my mother called it and Jim wore his tux. We've always had a great time before at this annual gala, but this year was a very different experience. The room was noisy & chaotic and several of the people at our table spent the evening drinking and texting rather than talking.

So we left early and came home. I quickly shed the fancy clothes and slipped into my favorite pair of flannel pajamas. Just the man I love and myself--together and grateful.

That experience last night showed me what I value most--a life of simplicity with people I love and who love me right back. Being myself in every moment. Being grateful for all my experiences--whether I like them or not.

So there I sat in my flannel pajamas filled with happy smiling frogs. Nothing to prove, nothing to do, nothing to be--just me in the moment. Content, happy and grateful for everything.

Enjoying the essence of my life now.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

Today is 9/11

Over the years of doing my heart-work from psychology to coaching to seminars - I am often prompted in what I offer from the experiences of my own life and challenges or joys - and I also watch for what is showing up for those in my tribe (my friends, family, colleague, clients) - and focus on what is coming up for them.

I am watching the 9/11 tribute in Shanksville right now and thinking about the heroism of 'just people', people rising to an unprecedented situation - who found out what was happening on other planes and acted without question - out of the fullness of their hearts.

We all have that brave selves inside, the one that jumps to do what is needed in the moment. If we are looking for a way to change our world - jumping in to help build a school somewhere (by contribution or participation), to participate in Random Acts of Kindness like the ones going on in Seattle today, to deciding to elect people who actually care at least as much about all the people of our country as they do about their own ambitions, to being our own hero and the hero of our children.

This cannot help but be a day of reflection no matter where we live, and when we live from our spirit - we can't go wrong.

Love and Blessings, Katie