I am so grateful for early mornings! My husband is still asleep, the house is quiet and it feels like I have the world all to myself. It's my favorite time of day because every morning I get to choose anew who I am and how I want to live my life. Every morning is a 'do over' when, no matter what happened the day before, THIS day I get to be grateful for once again.
This morning my time in gratitude was met with a fair amount of fear at first. Fear that I was expanding and changing too fast. Like instead of driving my nice, dependable sedan, I had suddenly jumped behind the wheel of an expensive race car and took off at the speed of light.
"Who will you be if you keep going at this pace? What will become of me?" I heard in my mind. My inner child was worried that trouble lay ahead, because as a child whenever I spoke up, asked for what I wanted or did anything 'different', trouble ensured for someone. So early on I learned to keep a low profile, to stay contracted and off the radar.
But here I am now--on everybody's radar! Stepping up and stepping out in gratitude--and telling people about it.
So I took a deep breath and sat with my inner child and her fears, thanking them for being there, feeling gratitude for their presence. And there we sat, the 3 of us in a state of gratitude until the fear dissolved and love flowed in.
An old Billy Joel song began drifting through my mind--just parts of it. "Don't go changing to try and please me. I love you just the way you are." And I drifted deeper into the meaning of those words. I don't have to change anything about myself in order to be loved or in order to have what I want in life. Living in a state of gratitude changes everything without me having to force a change or trying to be perfect, whatever 'perfect' means.
Transformation is a natural outcome from gratitude and a spirit of thankfulness. With a deep sigh my body relaxed into a gentle easiness and lightness.
Today is a play date with 2 of my grandkids, ages 7 and almost 4. We're making pumpkin pies from real pumpkins. As a child I learned to bake from my grandmother. She wanted me to know that not everything comes from a can, and that's a tradition I carry on with my own grandkids. So today we will cut up the pumpkins, bake them and the seeds, then turn them into delicious pies.
Afterwards is our special movie night complete with pizza and root beer floats before being tucked into bed with kisses from their Mimi (that's me!)
My inner child is invited to join the fun.
I am grateful for this day and for my life. Every day is a gift that I treasure.
In gratitude,
Bonnie
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