Life as a Miracle

Life as a Miracle

You must find the place inside you where nothing is impossible.

Deepak Chopra

Einstein said, Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Why would one of the most intelligent scientists of all times say that our imagination is the most important capacity we have?

Because like many great thinkers before or since, Einstein knew that existence is created within the unified field, and when our subconscious accesses that field, it is then that we have our most significant ideas.

You know from your own life, that when you have a strong vision, more often than not, it manifests itself in reality.

You may remember many of those times in your life when your greatest ideas came to you. You were most likely having fun, laying in the grass watching the clouds, musing as you looked out your windows, or in meditation.  It would have been those times in your life when you were in alpha and theta - in a relaxed state or deliberately seeking inner-peace.

It is during those times of direct contact with your subconscious that your dreams are fulfilled. It is after that contact and your communication within that your every step takes you in the direction of fulfilling your dreams.

The first time I understood about miracles and how the universe works was one magical night in 1977 when I saw the original Star Wars. That movie made sense of what I had been reading about in quantum physics, and about the power of the mind through my studies in anthropology, archeology and psychology. Star Wars was an explanation to me about the belief in a power greater than myself and how the whole universe is entangled, how each of us is part of all others, and a part of the whole.

Our beliefs come in part from everything we have learned from others in our life, and yet we all have the experience of getting information from our intuition, and from our 'little voice' within. One of the ways you are conditioned to cut off, or block your good, is when you doubt what you truly know through your intuition and your 'gut' feelings, that 'magical' information.

Faith is actually the mechanism of trusting yourself and your capacity to draw what you want from the unified field. When you know that you share the capacity to create with every other being on the planet, then you have no room for fear. Instead you have trust and faith and joy, and most especially, gratitude in your life.

Einstein also said, There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.

In truth, everything is a miracle. Our existence here on this earth itself and all it has to offer, the sky, the land, the water, the animals, and most importantly, other people - all are miracles. Just think of a newborn, taking a full breath of air after diving into the water and coming back up, think of birds and flowers, think of chocolate!

This is the Season of Miracles - bless all those who are in your life.

Love and blessings, Katie

To Dream the Impossible Dream...To Reach the Unreachable Star...Now!

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My Journey of Gratitude - Day 29

This morning's journey took me into a place of stillness and inner peace. I enjoyed the feeling of silence around me and the stillness within me, but that was just the beginning of my journey.

Gratitude led to peace which took me to a place of deepest love--love of life and love for life.

This is that place of every-thing and no-thing. The 'void' that I used to fear but now wrap around me like a warm blanket. It is always in this void, this place before creation, that I experience my deepest truths and my deepest understandings. It is not a place I get to often, but today I did.

Sitting in this energy of every-thing and no-thing, I am free to be re-created into a new thing.

Gratitude exists in this place as well. I'm finding that gratitude exists everywhere. It feels like the glue that holds the universe together and allows Love to enter in.

Love and fear are the only 2 real emotions. Everything else you experience are aspects of one or the other. It is impossible for them to exist in the same place at the time. You are either in a state of love or a state of fear in any given moment.

The state of gratitude opens the door for love to enter in and reside within you. Fear, then has no room and no reason to exist.

But we live in a world of duality--good/evil, right/wrong, gain/loss--with fear, chaos and conflict seemingly in charge. That is one aspect of reality, but it does not need to be the only aspect I experience.

With each day of this journey I understand on ever deepening levels not just the importance and benefits of living in gratitude, but the amazing tool for transformation that gratitude is.

No other tool is as easy to employ to change your experience of life. It costs nothing, needs no user manual to assemble and is available to you in every moment.

You simply close your eyes, take a deep breath and say 'thank you'. Your Spirit self can take it from there.

Gratitude can be the next great adventure of your life--if you allow it.

My eyes closed, a deep breath and thank you for being on this journey with me.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 28

Some days I just have to laugh at what a slow learner I can be. Today is one of those days! I began my usual process of stepping into gratitude, especially giving thanks for these past 30 days, which are quickly coming to an end.

As I was expressing my gratitude for an experience yesterday that I would preferred to not have had, I realized that being in a state of gratitude does not keep me from feeling old worries and fears, nor does it protect me from the challenges in life. I find that I still worry and fret over what isn't going well in my life and at times old beliefs still pop up and get in my way. It's part of the human experience I suppose; just not the most pleasant part.

The state of gratitude does not guarantee me sunshine and rainbows every day.
What it does do is give me an essential tool to quickly shift my perspective and my experience.

Remember that gratitude is also a choice. I can take the time, even in the midst of anger or worry, to choose to feel gratitude for something. I may not enter the state of gratitude, but I can certainly shift my mood with the feeling of gratitude. To say to myself "I choose this instead of that."

With that understanding came an image of how I've been practicing gratitude up to this point. Practicing it--not being it. It is a journey after all, not a destination, so learning wisdom along the way is a good thing.

The image I saw was of me carrying a huge, heavy rock. This rock was so big that it blocked my view of where I was heading. I had to crane my neck to see around it, but right in front of me--just a big ole piece of impenetrable rock.

Now the interesting thing is that I've carried this 2 ton piece of earth with me for so long that it became part of me--who knew!

I saw that during this journey of stepping into gratitude, I would unconsciously put the rock down, step into gratitude and have my beautiful experience--and then pick up that darn rock again and continue on my not-so-merry way. No wonder I often feel exhausted and can't always 'see' where I'm headed!

Because change is a choice, gratitude is a choice--I made a choice to let go of the rock and try something new. I didn't need nor did I want that rock any longer, and I no longer wanted my journey of gratitude to be separate from who I am, what I do and where I'm headed.

At first the rock turned into a pile of gifts--gifts that I can offer to others, but they were still heavy and still blocked my vision. Not yet matching my vision.

So I sat there as gratitude came to me--that was a new experience. Gratitude stepping into me rather than vice versa. As I allowed myself to be bathed in and invigorated by this state of gratitude, the gifts disappeared completely and there was only me standing there with no obstacles to block my vision.

Me. My knowledge, skills, talents and personality are the gifts I bring to my life and to my clients. Who I am-exactly as I am--is the gift I bring.

Who you are, exactly as you are-that is the gift you bring to the world.

And that knowing my friends is worth this entire journey! For this I am most grateful.

What are your stories, your questions, your opinions? I am grateful for you in my life and would love to hear from you.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 27

These past 27 days have been rich with learning, understanding and healing. The more I learn, the more I realize how much more there is to learn. I settled into my 10 minutes of gratitude this morning curious what I would experience. Expecting the usual learning and understanding, I felt a different energy begin to flow in.
 

Receiving--the energy of receiving began flowing strongly through me. Then I realized that my focus had been on what I could learn about myself on this journey, that it had not dawned on me that I could simply receive gratitude.

 

Gratitude is more than being thankful, more than expressing gratefulness; it is also receiving gratitude as well as expressing it.

 

So I relaxed even more into this state and felt myself being divinely loved. I felt for the very first time the Divine Intelligence expressing gratitude for my existence. I felt the gratitude of others grateful for me.

 

Talk about a big turn-around in understanding! I have been so busy practicing the state of gratitude that I had forgotten that others are grateful for my existence as much as I am grateful for theirs.

 

I sat with my heart melting open and tears of joy welling up in my eyes as I understood a simple yet profound truth--the divine creator of life cherishes my existence...is grateful for me being here now, being me.

 

This state of gratitude is a full body-mind-spirit experience of giving-receiving-blessings. Being in a state of gratitude allows my Soul to be a full participant in my life. Being in a state of gratitude allows YOUR Soul to be a full participant in your life--if you allow it.

  

"I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul." And my existence is made sacred and holy through this state of gratitude.

 

When I am in gratitude I feel the entire universe open to me and for me. And that is a most delicious feeling.

I welcome your thoughts and your stories.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 26

Through my experiences on this journey of gratitude I have learned that expressing thankfulness is one aspect of gratitude.  Feeling gratitude is another aspect.  Being in the state of gratitude amplifies both expression (thoughts) and feeling and creates a different energy--a new vibration that is more powerful than its separate parts.  Being in the state of being called gratitude, this new energy moves from being in the mind only into the body and expands both.  It truly becomes a body-mind-spirit experience of gratitude.

I felt the shift more deeply this morning.  Instead of my awareness being experienced in my mind, my conscious awareness going up & out, the expansion of gratitude dropped down & in so that I experienced body-mind-spirit all in gratitude at once--as one being state.

This was an experience of deepening that opened greater understanding of who I am beyond this physical body.  I feel a healing of separation happening, not yet complete, but spreading.  A blending that is at once curious and exciting.

You know that experience where you reach a certain point and the experience takes on a life of its own and continues to grow and spread exponentially?  It feels very much like the beginning of new life--three things (thoughts, feeling and state of being) coming together in creation.  The big bang theory.  The beginning of new life.  An expansion in control of itself.

I feel it in my cells as well as my thoughts.  Something new and different has been creating and is developing organically on its own. 

Just as I was excited about meeting the new life that was growing within me each time I was pregnant, I feel new life growing within me now--body-mind-spirit and I am excited about the possibilities and the final outcome when what has been created is birthed into my life.

Today I feel a new state of gratitude growing within me and I am most thankful for the changes I feel.  This journey is giving birth to a new me and I am excited about meeting her when she is ready to be born anew into this reality.

As always, I would love to hear about your experiences, your questions and your stories.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 24

The remains of yesterday's turkey simmering on the stove on its way to becoming tomorrow's soup, I allowed that delicious aroma to take me deeper into my state of gratitude this morning.  Thoughts of yesterday's time with family floated across my mind until I had given thanks for each person, each bite of food and each memory.

Then a deep sense of inner peace flowed through me, and there I stayed, floating in peace and feeling at one with the world.

When I finally opened my eyes, 20 minutes had flown by!  I realized that while life has its ups and downs, it also has its times of peaceful plateaus.

Today I am grateful for my plateau where I can simply relax in peace and love for the day.

All is well--and for that I am most grateful.

Please feel free to share your experiences!  I welcome knowing how you experience gratitude and all that you are grateful for in your life.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 23

Today is Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S. and we are spending today with family. Any day I spend with my children and grandchildren is a day to be grateful, but this day most of all.

I began my meditation with an open heart filling with thoughts of each family member. There is a new grandbaby on her way, so extra special gratitude for a new life among us. One daughter has found 'the one' and he is being introduced to the whole clan today. I am grateful for her newfound happiness and also that this family so easily opens its arms and heart to embrace new life and new love as we continue to grow.

As I continued to sit in my state of gratitude, allowing my mind to take me to new places, my physical body responded to me. Not in the warm glow of gratitude way that I normally experience, but something different. It immediately got my attention.

There was a response to the gratitude--a living response as my body flowed it back to me. It was like standing at a top of a canyon yelling "Hello. I love you' and expecting those words to be echoed back. Instead I heard "I love you too." A surprise as I realized for the first time that gratitude is a 2-way communication!

All this time I've sent thanks and love to my body for all it does for me, yet had never considered the possibility that my body would respond in kind.

As a medical intuitive who works with the physical body and health all the time you'd think I wouldn't have been surprised, but there I sat in amazement as this deeper communication between us continued--as equals and co-creators of my life.

My body does more than just reflect my thoughts; it responds with its own as well. And isn't that really how it should be--my body as more than a reflection of me, but an active co-creator? Isn't that how it is supposed to be for each of us?

After all, doesn't my body house my Essence? Why wouldn't we consciously co-create not only my health, but my life? Why wouldn't we work in cooperation and harmony with each other?

This morning the meaning of being 'present in my body' took on a whole new depth of understanding and experience. Gratitude is not just a feeling, not just a state of being--it is also a 2-way communication. Whether that be between body-mind or two people, gratitude is a divine method of communication.

I am grateful today for the body I live in and it is grateful for my presence and my acknowledgement.

New doors have just opened.

I welcome your comments and experiences!

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 22

"Woman thou art loosed." That is the title of a movie that I have never seen, yet those were the first words I heard this morning as I slipped into gratitude.

Powerful words within this state of gratitude. An opening, a shift of something intangible but very real happened. A strong sense of personal power flowed through me, very different than the personal power I carried within me before. Something deeper, broader, higher.

And a new fire was born within me.

Not the 'fire in the belly' masculine power nor the gentle internal knowing of feminine power, but something very different. As if the two came together and created something new.

This experience did not flow from the feeling of gratitude; this new sense of personal power flowed into the space that being in a state of gratitude opened up.

I began this journey 22 days ago as an experiment to experience the feeling of gratitude and how that would change me. What I quickly realized is that while gratitude is a feeling--it is also so much more; it is a state of being as well.

In this state of being called gratitude doors open, healing takes place and your greater self steps in to play a much grander role than before.

And that is what I experienced this morning. My ego self felt loved enough to give way to my soul self. While my wonderful ego self has definite ideas about what I want and how I should have it, my soul self has even higher, grander ideas about what is possible for me. This morning that door opened and my conscious connection to my soul flowed through.

How do I describe the delicious feeling of my divine self stepping into my life and essentially saying "I'll take it from here" while my ego agrees?

The only words I have right now are "Woman--thou are loosed."

Today I am grateful for this feeling of wholeness and excited about the new beginnings this means for me.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 21

This morning's journey began with frustration. Frustration because some things I'm working towards are not happening, or at least not happening at the speed I want. So my meditation began with a bit of cursing the challenges I face. Why me? Why not me? What good is it to be grateful for my troubles and challenges? That just smacks of my old religious upbringing to be grateful for what little God gives me!

So there I sat with my questions and gave thanks for them. Even if I couldn't feel grateful for the challenges, I was at least grateful for the questions. It didn't take long for the answers to move through me.

Gratitude must come from the inside. When I look outside of myself to what I do or do not have, it is easy to lose that sense of gratitude because gratitude will never come from outside of myself. It is an 'inside job' and that's where the powerful of gratitude lies--within each of us. Not out in the world we experience, but within each one of us is the seed of gratitude.

'Challenges, problems, troubles, difficulties, not-enoughness'--are words we have assigned a negative meaning to and they come with energy that contracts us rather than expands us.

What if I shifted my perspective and thought of them as 'opportunities'? After all, isn't that what they really are--opportunities to take action, make a new decision, re-evaluate, let go, embrace, to say yes please or no thank you to situations in our lives. How would that change my feelings about what happens around me?

An instant internal shift happened and I again slipped into that gentle warmth of gratitude. Thankful for a new understanding; thankful that I asked a better question and received a better answer. Thankful that by simply changing my perception of words I shifted from contraction into the expansive energy of gratitude.

So now I understand that the situations I face are opportunities for me to re-think and re-choose the direction I want to move on this journey that is my life.

That is a powerful understanding to receive!

And it makes all the difference in the world to me. Instead of contracting into frustration and old patterns, gratitude expanded me into new ways of thinking about my reality. How 'real' do I want this situation to be--and what do I want to be real for me instead? Again--a better question yields a better answer.

I am grateful for the opportunities to succeed that are now open before me. I have some re-thinking and re-choosing to do today!

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 20

The joy of gratitude!  Yesterday I experienced my body taking over and releasing past painful events.  There was beauty and grace in that experience and I felt much lighter afterwards.  Releasing old stuff is always a good thing.

This morning's journey took me on a very different path--the path of joy in living.  Because my childhood was full of chaos and pain, my focus for years was healing and creating a fresh start, and so I did.

What I often forget along the way--I think we all often forget--is that joy, love and fun are also part of living.

Flashes of happy times flowed through me, increasing and deepening my sense of gratitude and unleashing the joy that had been forgotten.  The years and events flew by like watching a movie in fast forward as I remembered the good times and the people who loved and supported me.

The memory of joy that stood out the brightest was holding my first born daughter in my arms.  I was a teenage mom and there had been plenty of drama around that.  But when I looked at her and she looked at me all that faded away.  For the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to truly love another without reservation.  Until that moment I had no idea that I was capable of such love.

My memories then flowed to the birth of my 3 other babies and how each time I wasn't sure I could be any more open to love, blessings and joy--I was.

Life has a way of getting in the way of gratitude and love if we stop paying attention.  To have this experience today--to feel joy released and to remember how truly blessed I am is wonderful.  It is a good reminder that the good and the difficult all exist around me and it is my focus that determines my experience and my reality now.

Today I am grateful for the journey of my life.  A corner has been turned on this 20th day of gratitude and a new adventure awaits.  So today my Inner Chicken and I will ride the waves of this new grand adventure, feeling blessed to be alive.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 19

Gratitude leads to inner peace and that is how I awoke this morning, with this deepest sense of inner peace as my first awareness. So instead of getting up to do my 10 minutes of gratitude meditation in my usual spot, I allowed myself to shift into gratitude right there, lying in bed all snuggled under the blankets on a dark, cold morning and had a very different experience of gratitude.

Usually it is my mind that guides me through the meditation; my mind that consciously takes me into gratitude. This time, maybe because I was so relaxed, it was my physical body that took over the reins, guiding me ever deeper into what happens to me physically when I am in a state of gratitude. An odd experience certainly and I'm not quite sure if I can describe the difference.

Always before my mind told me what my body was feeling; whether it was about gratitude or anything else, the understanding came through my mind. This morning, however, the knowing came directly from my body--and I understood it. Instead of gratitude flowing from my thoughts down into my physical being, it was my body that flowed gratitude to my thoughts. My body was reflecting back to me its new state of being now--a state of physical being that carried, held and flowed gratitude. No longer was my body being fed gratitude, it had become the state of gratitude. Something had shifted within the physical and it all feels different.

Curious now to see what was next, I relaxed into this new experience and allowed it to unfold. At first I thought my mind was wandering and I'd try to bring it back to the present. But then I realized that my mind wasn't wandering because my mind was not controlling this experience--my body was. Old memories would pop up--what use to be very painful memories from childhood. Instead of the feeling of pain and woundedness that always accompanied these memories, a feeling of warmth--that new state of gratitude I have--flowed through each memory, dissolving it.

It took a few minutes to realize that the intelligence of my body--and make no mistake our bodies have an intelligence of their own--was using gratitude to heal the pain in my past. So I lay there, open and allowing this process to unfold as memory after memory was released from my cells and healed. Past memories and future worries, all healed in the same way--with gratitude.

As a medical intuitive I am use to entering the body and taking a look around, but that is my mind controlling the process. This experience was entirely different. I could actually feel my body healing itself and it was doing it consciously, wanting me to know and understand what was happening. Gratitude has become so much more than a feeling I flow through my body 10 minutes a day. It is now a state of being that I live in and that my body responds to.

As the body is a reflection of the mind, I saw a new reflection of myself this morning. And I am grateful for who I am and who I am becoming.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

TODAY WAS THE DAY

Today was the day that Bonnie and I offered our BraveWoman seminar #3 on The Freedom of Gratitude. We have spent this entire month on gratitude - giving talks, doing Bonnie's Gratitude Project (30 days of sitting in gratitude meditation for 10 min a day), and creating and re-creating our seminar.

We always start with an idea for our seminars, and then write them, and then live them, and then rewrite them, until they are organic and are in response to our own growth and in response to what we get from you all, through emails and from your energy in the Field.

We are both so grateful to you and to how you constantly change our lives by being in relationship with us.

We are so happy you are this journey with us and we love and appreciate you interaction with us through our seminars and through these blogs and through the Gratitude Yahoo Group that is growing worldwide.

This is a Movement - greater than we ever anticipated, thank you so much for being a major part of this global expansion.

Love and blessings, Katie

PS - join us on the Gratitude Yahoo Group by going to:

The link to check it out:  http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/freedomofgratitude/

The email to subscribe is:  freedomofgratitude-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

And if you want - the mp3 of BraveWoman--The Freedom of Gratitude is available by emailing Bonnie at bonnie@inner-resources.net

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 18

The more time I spend in this state of gratitude, the more I learn about who I am and who I am becoming and that leads to feeling even more gratitude. And I continue to fall in love with myself more every day in new ways. What an incredible Being I really am--amazing how I never saw that before. Amazing how we forget to remember how amazing we each are.

As I keep my focus on gratitude, I notice subtle shifts within. Increasingly I am more open to seeing life as a journey and less needing to try to control my outcomes. What a relief that is! To begin giving up controlling my life and how it turns out and relax into the moment as it is--priceless.

I already know my eventual destination, so why not be open to the journey itself and enjoying the outcomes rather than fearing them. That is a huge shift for me. I've always been a destination kinda gal--focusing more on getting to the finish line and forgetting to notice the cool things along the way.

Other changes are beginning to show up in my life as well--physical changes. As I physically relax into this journey of gratitude I am sleeping more. Never realized how wound up and constricted I had become the past couple of years with trying to do things the 'right' way and control the outcomes. The more I relax, the slower my pace the more I actually accomplish. Seems counter-intuitive I know--but it's real.

And I am physically detoxing a bit as the energy of gratitude floods my body, flushing out the old 'not enoughness' that was trapped. A bit uncomfortable certainly, but also refreshing as my body continues to let go of what it no longer needs to hold.

My outlook on life is definitely brighter--this attitude of gratitude is becoming a constant presence in my life. More and more when an old habitual thought of worry or fear arises, I am flooded with feelings, images and thoughts of all I have to be grateful for. A new habit of gratitude as my natural state of being is arising.

I find that I'm walking around in love with people and with the world instead of shrinking away from the chaos and pain. All good and all bad still exist out there. We do live in a world of polarity, but the difference for me is where I now place my focus. Gratitude is not only a state of being, it is also a choice. A choice that I make every moment in my life. To choose gratitude over fear. To choose to focus on all that is good in life and allow my experience of life to be simpler, happier.

I no longer feel the need to save the world. Did I really believe that I could? Loving myself and my life one day at a time is enough. If we each do that, the world won't need saving.

In the meantime, life is meant to be an adventure and we are meant to enjoy the journey--living full out to the best we can.

Cue the Hawaii 5-0 theme song and my Inner Chicken riding the waves of life!

In gratitude, Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 17

It seems that the more time I spend in gratitude, the less I have to say. There comes this tipping point where the experience becomes so deep that words cannot capture the essence of what is felt. And I believe I may have reached that tipping point.

Normally it would take me a few minutes to settle my mind enough so that I could step into the state of gratitude. Today, however, I gently slipped into it and was feeling it before I was even aware of being there. That was an interesting experience in itself!

I sat in the new experience of thankfulness, a gentle warmth glowing through me and felt my outer world swirling around me-forming, dissolving and reforming itself over and over again. It was like sitting safely by a warm fire with a storm raging outside. My inner self is calm, peaceful and safe while my outer life is changing into something not yet seen.

When I look around my life everything looks the same, but my internal experience is so different that nothing feels the same. Normally that would make me nervous and scrambling for some stability, but instead today I am feeling calm, peaceful and trusting. There is deep within me a knowing that all is well.

Today I am grateful for what is and curious about what will be.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 16

I want to first thank a good friend of mine for helping me yesterday to clear some of the old stuff that has arisen during this journey of mine. Whenever you make a shift of any kind your frequency changes and whatever you've been holding that no longer resonates with that new 'you' shakes loose and needs to be released. That is what healing is all about--letting go of what no longer fits. So yesterday my friend Sue helped me let go of all that had shaken loose and I feel so much more freedom. For that I am grateful.

So this morning, feeling more freedom within and without, I sat down to practice my 10 minutes of gratitude. It was easier to get into that state of gratitude this morning because most of the chatter that I normally have to move through was gone. A big WooHoo! on that score!

What is left behind is a deeper warmth, like glowing embers after the logs have burned themselves down. A calm, steady warmth that spread through me, deep into my bones.

Not the high that I've always felt before; you know that mountain top experience we often get. But with every high must come a leveling out because we are not called to live at the top of the mountain all the time--or at least I'm not. I am called to live amongst people and be of service from within the community, not separate from them.

And so a new sense of gratitude was born within me today. It feels like I found myself again and, even better, I fell in love with myself all over again.

Today I am grateful for the slow, steady glow of gratitude that warms me and tells me that I am 'home' at last.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 13

A funny thing about opening to feelings--you can't just pick and choose which feelings you allow. It's not possible to say "I will only feel the 'good' feelings today." That's because feelings are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. They are just feelings brought on by your thoughts.

So the other day when the dam burst open and everything that was backed up came pouring forth, I understood that would mean that all my feelings were free to express themselves. And they certainly have!

Yesterday was my impatience and today my sadness made its appearance. Not the profound sadness of years past, but the sadness of unanswered prayers, missed opportunities and things I have done or left undone.

Earlier this morning I read a passage that fit perfectly for this moment. "Bask in the luxury of feeling fully understood and unconditionally loved." So I did. As I stepped more fully into that state of gratitude feeling fully understood and unconditionally loved, I allowed the sadness to flow through me, freeing it from the prison of my body. A sweet gentleness flowed in to fill the empty spaces where sadness had previously lived.

The more I let go of what no longer serves me and what I have imprisoned in my body, the more free I am to fully live the life I love. I begin my day in a place of serenity and knowingness.

Today I am grateful for my ability to fully experience all my emotions and to bask in the luxury of being fully understood and unconditionally loved.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 12

Gratitude was a bit harder to come by this morning. Lack of patience though showed up in abundance. That great yummy feeling that I normally slip into, that fullness of the heart, was a no show today. I stuck with it though because this is, after all, a journey not a destination. Just because I'm not feeling the gratitude in any given moment doesn't mean that I'm not grateful, just that I'm not in the feeling of it.

I'm imperfect. Oh no--was that my outdoor voice!? Parts of me were horrified at that admission while other parts relieved that I finally got it. It really shouldn't have been such a big surprise--because we all know that no one is perfect. But it was that sudden 'knowing' that took me by surprise. You know that moment when you really get it--and once you truly know something you can never again unknow it. Obviously some part of me thought my imperfections were a well kept secret, though I'm sure if you ask my husband or my kids they'd just roll their eyes and snort.

So I sat in gratitude with my imperfect self. I sat with the shame that came bursting forth from that admission and continued to give thanks for this journey of getting to know myself in deeper ways. I was really clueless that parts of me were still trying to be perfect--and successfully failing. Trying to be perfect is just an old survival strategy from childhood that was waiting for an opportunity to be healed.

And like a dam bursting as the seams, the shame, blame and guilt bottled up inside came flooding out in a torrent. Instead of being met with resistance or denial though, I allowed those feelings to flow up and out in a state of gratitude. Because, really--who needs to keep those 3 feelings as a constant companion?

To be honest--today was really uncomfortable for me; not the happy love-fest I experienced at the beginning. But it was real, it was honest and it quickly passed, because I stayed in gratitude for the experience.

Every journey has its wonders and its trials. There are days of ease and days of effort. Yet with each step on this journey I move forward and each day holds something to be grateful for. That is what I hold on to when gratitude is not so easy to find.

I am grateful for the gift of my imperfections for they remind me to love myself even more and they remind me that we are all just doing the best we can with what we've got. Embracing my imperfections allows me to let go of who I think I'm suppose to be and appreciate the fullness of who I actually am.

And that, my friends, was worth the 10 minutes of uncomfortable gratitude this morning.

In gratitude,
Bonnie

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 8

My mind gets so impatient when it feels I'm not moving forward fast enough. It is always wanting more, more, more and faster. This impatience stems from an old belief that there is not enough, so better get it right now. And that was my experience this morning.

Impatience when nothing 'grand' seemed to be happening. I love those mountain top experiences. You know the ones where you feel on top of the world and everything is laid at your feet. Your energy is high and you are in the zone. I love that and truth is that there are many other ways to experience transformation as well.

Those gentle moments of gratitude are just as powerful--when I am open to noticing them. Like a warm gentle breeze blowing freshness into my home, so is that gentle, easy flow of gratitude bringing freshness into my life--and I am transforming.

This journey with gratitude is building a new foundation from which to live my life. My old foundation which was based on past pain was like a huge dam filled with thousands of leaks and threatening to overwhelm me should I not contain it all. What an exhausting way to live!

Today I have a new image. The dam has broken and I'm riding the waves using the energy released to fuel my new foundation, my new way of living in this world.

No longer afraid of being overwhelmed, I am now free to build anew. And I hear myself on that surfboard yelling "Ride the waves baby. Ride the waves."

What is Your 'I Am'

Bonnie and I are active in several Yahoo groups, including the Gratitude yahoo group.* In our Yahoo groups we often offer challenges for a better life and one of them is the monthly I Am challenge. It means, what is the aspect of your life that you want to emphasize most during each month? What aspect of your behavior do you want to support and expand?

For the month of November:

My I Am is clearly Gratitude - and it is a part of my entire psyche that I want to keep next to my heart and embrace for all the years I have left in this particular existence.

I am so grateful for the family I had, and for the family I have - my friends - the ones who are new and wonderful and the ones who have had my back for a major part of my lifetime.

I am grateful to be here on the planet as there we some 'iffy' moments that made that questionable - major illnesses, a sky-diving accident, moments in time that I gratefully transitioned through to stay here.

I am grateful for the joyful 'work' I get to do, helping others find the meaning and purpose in their lives, which they already know, and just need to uncover, My first area of study was cultural anthropology and it helps me remember that communities create together and we all make life choices within what we know from others but also from our deepest spirit.

So what is your I Am this month - what part of who you are will you acknowledge and love this month in particular?

Love and blessings, Katie
*contact Bonnie to join the Gratitude Yahoo Group