Falling Out of Love with My Drama

Falling Out of Love with My Drama

I have been fortunate to study with some of the most amazing teachers over the decades, and all of them have talked about letting go of the drama in your life.

It took me awhile to truly let go of it all and learn to live in the present, to be present with my own life and with everyone in it.

I found that I took myself through several steps to get to the Freedom I desired:

Step 1- Forgiveness

In order to start the clearing out process I realized that forgiveness was the key that would open the lock to all else that was within. Even though I knew better, it was still easy to get caught up in the idea that by forgiving the person, I was approving the act. And also that forgiveness was for the other person when it is really always for us and our own inner peace. Once I got myself past those old mind-sets, it was all downhill from there – simply a process of letting go.

Step 2 – My History

How many of us are ‘married’ to our stories. It is easy to believe that if we give up our ‘story’ we will no longer be ourselves and we will never be able to rectify what has happened and create something new. The truth is, it is your stories that keep you stuck and interfere with your capacity to create the new life you want. Once you choose to create what you want instead of what you have, you have no need for what was.

Step 3 – My Future

Finally I got to the point of looking ‘forward’ even though I am aware from quantum physics that there is no time – just ask Einstein.  For me this was sort of a way station. It was a place I lived for a while until I really understood that my future is right now. It was useful in the sense that at least I had separated out from my past.

Step 4 – My Now

This is where I want to live for the duration.  Staying in the present is so much more interesting than you might ever imagine. This is where your greater capacity lives and this is where your joy resides

In the present you are always fresh, new and available to every idea, opportunity and resource that your world is offering to you.

I wouldn’t choose to live anywhere else.

Love and blessings, Katie

Waiting to Exhale

I’ve been doing a lot of meditating the past 2 months in order to open the space to learn more about what programs and patterns might still be holding me back.  Sometimes just sitting for 20 minutes or so, simply being present in my body & in the moment, opens me to deeper awareness of myself.

The other day as I was sitting in that beautiful silence within, I became aware of a continuing pattern from childhood that I still seem to play out—'Waiting to Exhale' I call it.  I’m a middle child, so some of that can be explained by birth order.  Middle children often look to the older siblings to see what is happening and then go from there.

But I knew it was deeper than that, so I sat, present in the moment, and opened myself even more to what might be revealed. And there it was…training on how to be a ‘good’ wife, mother, woman.  Growing up in the 50s and the 60s in the conservative Midwest, I was trained not only by my mother, but by the culture at the time to ‘wait’ for and upon others—particularly the males in the family.  I remember playing baseball with my brothers and their friends and being called inside to iron my brothers’ shirts.  When I protested the unfairness of having to give up doing something fun in order to iron shirts, my mother explained that that is just ‘how it is.’  Girls take care of the boys. 

My mother was also depressed much of my childhood, so I also learned to wait to see how she was feeling.  Was she happy that day?  Then I could be happy too.  Was she feeling down again?  Then I knew to be more quiet, stay out of the way and wait for things to change.

My training also included things like:  'Don’t be better than, don’t know more than, don’t succeed more than and certainly don’t have more than'…you guessed it…the boys.  Wait for the boy to ask you out.  Wait for the boy to talk.  Wait for the boy to buy you something.  Wait…wait…wait. 

A woman’s place is to hold back and sacrifice herself for the good of the family.  I learned that from my parents, my grandmother, at school, at church. Everywhere I turned it was taught that my place was to wait—and to sacrifice.  It was not a choice, but a duty.  Anything less made you a bad wife, a terrible mother and an unattractive, unlovable woman.

  

I got really good at waiting!  So much so that I spent most of my life unconsciously waiting for something or someone to happen.

So there I sat—watching all that waiting play out in my memories, feeling all those emotions of frustration and resentment and hearing those thoughts run through my mind.

Oh my gosh!  I’ve been energetically holding my breath—waiting to exhale for decades!

Darn it if that old pattern was still alive and kicking!  Ragged around the edges from changing beliefs, healing and plenty of experiences in life proving that old pattern to be outdated and no longer useful.  But still influencing my life.

I can’t be happy until my husband is happy.  I can only allow myself a limited amount of success so that I’m never more successful than my husband.  I must continually bolster and support my adult children so that they are more successful.  Their success is my success.  Their happiness is my happiness.

Sure I can have a life and run a business and create income—but only during the hours that my husband or grown children don’t ‘need’ me.  My job was to keep the ‘home fires burning’ and to make sure everyone else is taken care of before getting back to my life.

I sat there in amazement at the breadth and depth of that pattern and looked at every area of my life that it affected.  How you do anything is how you do everything—so that pattern influenced everything…until I changed it.

Now you might think that it was upsetting to find myself still running an old, outdated pattern, but it wasn’t.  It was exciting!  Why?  Because it’s not my reality any more than I allow it to be.  It’s not me and it’s definitely not my husband or my children.  They don’t hold those expectations of me.  It is only a small part of me holding me to an old standard that no longer applies.  And I have the resources and the technique to easily change my beliefs and patterns.

So I CHANGED IT!

I love my life.  I love my husband, my children and my grandchildren.  Being a mother has always been a high value of mine.  Family is a high value.

Faith and family—they are my compass for living and that didn’t change.

What did change was HOW I live out my values and HOW I make decisions about my life.

And for the first time in many years—I EXHALED.

Rose-Colored Glasses

I have been creating lots of energy around moving from one ideal place to the next ideal place for my new decade of life as I head toward my 70s. Depending on your decade of life, you may think that the time of expansion and change is over by this chronological time, and you will be surprised when you get here.

Living, thriving, choosing life is an ongoing - second by second series of choices. Are you choosing to love, to listen, to speak your personal truth from your soul, to walk into the sea and feel the embrace of the water that surrounds your own body which is 90+ percent water - does it remind you of our entanglement with our planet from the water to the air, to every living soul in our world?

I got my new reading lamp set up today and this is what I found in a book by Mike Dooley of TUT, called Choose Them Wisely - Thoughts Become Things. (If you don't get TUT daily thoughts, you may be missing something good).

Rose-Colored Glasses
See it all as easy,
and so it must become.

...The answers you seek lie in the present moment, and by enjoying whatever it is that you enjoy and by following your heart out into the world - no matter what others may think - your questions will be answered, your step will be made lighter, and you will see how true this is and how easy life has always been...Mike Dooley

This is really what my teaching partner, friend and colleague Bonnie and I mean when we talk about living in gratitude, when we suggest looking at what you say to yourself and then ask, What do I want instead?

Abraham Lincoln said, People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

How happy are you choosing to be each and every day? What do you want instead? What is you chosen I Am? How are you in service to yourself and others?

Answering these questions are a great start to your day and meditating on the answers is a gift to yourself.

Blessings, Katie

The Weight of Objects

The Weight of Objects
Clearing a Space for Change

From The Daily OM

We hold onto material objects because we think they make us feel secure, when in reality they are cluttering our lives.

In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most people are not conscious of how much they own and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life. They fiercely hold on to material objects because this makes them feel secure or comfortable. While it’s true that the ownership of “stuff” can make you feel good for awhile, it seldom satisfies the deep inner longings that nearly everyone has for fulfillment and satisfaction. It is only when we are ready to let go of our baggage and be vulnerable that it becomes possible to recognize the emotional hold that our possessions can have on us.

It’s not uncommon to hold on to material objects because we are attached to them or fear the empty spaces that will remain if we get rid of them. Giving away the souvenirs from a beloved voyage may feel like we are erasing the memory of that time in our life. We may also worry that our loved ones will feel hurt if we don’t keep the gifts they’ve given us. It’s easy to convince ourselves that unused possessions might come in handy someday or that parting with them will cause you emotional pain. However, when your personal space is filled with objects, there is no room for anything new to enter and stay in your life. Your collection of belongings may “protect” you from the uncertainties of an unknown future while keeping you stuck in the past. Holding on to unnecessary possessions often goes hand in hand with holding on to pain, anger, and resentment, and letting go of your material possessions may help you release emotional baggage.

When you make a conscious decision to fill your personal space with only the objects that you need or bring you joy, your energy level will soar. Clearing your personal space can lead to mental clarity and an improved memory. As you learn to have a more practical and temporary relationship to objects, positive changes will happen, and you’ll have space to create the life that you desire.

The Change of Life

The change of life - it's not what you think. I am referring to those times in our lives when we choose (or someone chooses for us - as our catalyst) to move on, to make changes in order to expand, develop, and re-create our lives within our Greater Purpose.

There are many ways of responding to these times of expansion - depending on what has propelled us. It may look 'bad' such as the loss of a job, a relationship, health, money. It may look 'good' such as a new job or opportunity, a new home, a new relationship, better health, more money. And it may be all of those in a certain order. The order depends on how the universe (the unified field) is putting things in place to manifest what our soul desires.

I am not certain how many of us on the planet do not need to learn patience, I just know that I have been one of those who does need to continue to learn patience. The good news is that I am so much better at the practice of patience than I have ever been in my entire 69 years. Why is patience so important to all of us? One of the reasons is that sometimes, what we want requires some re-arrangement by the forces that be - Source, the unified field, however you name it in your heart.

For example, I had been looking for my new place to live for about 4 months, I had done my One Command, I knew what I required (such as a gorgeous view and a fireplace), and I knew approximately where I wanted to live (what area). Bonnie said once, I know your place is being arranged for you, perhaps someone else needs to move out. And that is pretty much what it was, the former tenants had moved out and the home was being renovated by the owner. It is brand new for me, it is in a 'forest' and yet only about 10 minutes from the freeway. It has a fireplace and French doors and bunny rabbits and a neighbor black cat named Frank!

There were periods in my life where I was open to trusting the universe, and there were times when I responded to fear in my life and wanted to take control - AS IF! As if we have control over how things come together. We are in control of What we want, our desires, our dreams, our joys - the universe - our co-creator, is in the business of the How, of pulling it together.

When we Command for something, sometimes we will say, 'this or better....' When we truly relax into our faith in ourselves and the universe, we simply state our desires, in theta, and know that the fulfillment will always be what we want and often far better than we ever dreamed.

So now, your Change of Life - what are you dreaming for, Commanding for, desiring? Maybe you want to simply find out what you want, to get clarity in your life. A simple One Command like, I don't know how I have clarity in what I want, I only know I do now, and I am fulfilled, works like a charm...when we then listen for the answer.

Ask yourself, Am I willing to have even more than what I think I want? Am I willing to trust that when I state my desire, do my Command, state my Intention in theta, that it is manifesting with the thought? And in that trust, am I willing to allow it to manifest, and allow myself to accept the gift of positive change in my life?

These are not casual questions - you can track your 'success' by keeping a journal - online, in a book, a notepad - in order to give yourself the chance to watch the changes occur in your life - and then celebrate them.

Love and blessings, Katie

The Possible Dream

You create in the unified field. Whatever you have in your life, you have participated in creating. That can either be good news or bad, depending on how content you are with what you find around you.

You can know from the science of quantum physics that your thoughts are in fact things, and that they are the energy of creation. What you think about and put your energy toward is what you are consistently creating in your life.

So what is your dream? What would fill your life with delight if you cleared your intention to manifest it in your life?

This is not an idle question, unless you put your focus, your intention on what you truly want, it reduces the probability that it will show up. Think about the people you know, or know about, that have achieved their dreams, no matter how long it may have taken.

One of my favorite stories is the story of a woman with a brilliant voice who always wanted to sing. She was deprived of oxygen during birth and was diagnosed with learning difficulties. She was a quiet, plain child, ridiculed by the other children in school. She lived very simply as an adult, taking care of her aging mother and never marrying, or even dating. A woman with a gifted voice, who for most of her 50 years sang only in the choir. She finally made a few demos, expanding her love of music, and even entered and won several local singing competitions.

When an opportunity to audition for a large national talent program appeared, she almost decided to pass it up, telling herself that people are always judged on how they look, not on who they are, or even how strong their talent is. The most critical thing is, she held on to her dream even though in other auditions she had been mocked for her appearance and dismissed as too old, to odd, and too unattractive.

When she walked on stage for this particular audition, in front of millions of tv viewers and a panel of people who rolled their eyes and expected the worse, she stepped into the fulfillment of her dream. She knew that for her, the unified field had shifted to accommodate the dream she had been holding all her life. That moment in time changed not only the life of Susan Boyle, as she sang the song I Dreamed a Dream with amazing passion and beauty, it also changed the life of many girls, women, and even men who thought they could continue to tell themselves that their dreams could not come true.

Susan Boyle demonstrated to the world that your Dream can be fulfilled in your life when you believe in it, and believe in yourself, even if no one else does! Her unwavering belief in herself deep inside, was the difference between Susan Boyle prior to her appearance in 2009 on Britain’s Got Talent, and her life after that amazing appearance.

Susan put all of her energy toward the outcome she desired, she clarified what she wanted in her life, and she made every step move her toward the outcome of that dream, she took the action steps necessary to be the Susan Boyle she wanted to be.

What is your dream? Have you clarified what you want? Have you clarified what you want to be and do in your life? And are you willing to take the steps toward that outcome?

Faith in yourself is a matter of action, it is not a passive behavior, it means keeping all of your steps moving toward your goals. There may be setbacks, there may be what appear to be gaps – but things are always moving into your goal as long as you keep your goal clearly in mind.

What stops you from seeing the outcome or appearance of your dream immediately? It is important to know that it always exists for you. Your dream is just waiting for you to allow yourself to receive it. Does that sound unreal – or not real? What is the difference between those who see their results right away and those who see them show up much later in life, or not at all? The difference is the unconscious focus of intention.

You often hear that all you need to do is to simply state what you want to yourself, or say your amazing One Command, and what you want is already there for you. It is there for you but you may be overlaying it with your focus on what you don’t want instead.

If you dream of, or ask for, or better yet One Command for, a particular thing, then it is there. And if you then immediately start thinking of its opposite and putting intensity and energy into what you don’t want, your subconscious does not know the difference between good or bad, want and don’t want – it simply creates what you are putting your attention on. If you keep saying, I hope I don’t trip, your unconscious hears, I hope I trip, and often you do. What if you put your focus on, I walk with ease and grace, you probably will!

Could Susan Boyle have found her success earlier in her life? Very likely…were there things that took precedence…apparently there were. We get distracted from our dreams by other things in our lives and often do not recognize, or even believe, that we can have it all.

Think about your own life, are there things you let go of? Are there opportunities you ignored or didn’t see until they were already gone? It’s ok, you are here now, present in your own life. Now is the time to go for clarity and keep your focus on what you want, what is meaningful in your life, what is your dream.

Go to youtube – watch any Susan Boyle video, watch the response of the audience when she walks out – watch her spunk as she knows she is now in the right place at the right time, and watch the amazement of the judges and the audience as she starts to sing.

This is your time, your Susan Boyle moment, what has been in your heart to do, be and have?

Be here now, live Your Dream, trust your creative ability in the unified field.

Blessings, Katie

Take back your power and release your pain

"One must sacrifice the belief that there is any power or endurance in evil apart from the power we ourselves give it by believing in it."  Emmet Fox

As I read that statement this morning I realized the power inherent in his words.
"...apart from the power that we ourselves give it by believing in it."  That means that YOU have the power to change, to shift, to transform in every area of your life by making a conscious choice to believe something different.

Here I speak not of evil, but of your story about your pain, struggle and old wounds.  Your pain story can hold no more power or endurance in your life except from the power you give it to control your thoughts, emotions and health.  Your pain, struggle and wounds can only exist because you keep them alive with your thoughts, your words and your actions.  Remove your attention from them and they lose their sting. 

As a child I was terrified of the boogeyman living in my closet and would lay there for what seemed like hours unable to sleep, keeping watch to make sure he wouldn't jump out at me in the dark.  That belief held great power over me until one night, tired of being scared, I jumped out of bed, threw open the closet door and found.......nothing.  Nothing...absolutely no boogeyman, no shadow, nothing to feed the fear but my own belief.  Once I stopped believing in the power of this scary monster, there was no power to fear.

So what must you be willing to let go of in order to take the power back into your own hands?  What would you need to be, do or have so that you can let go of your pain story and write a new story about your life?

What people, places, situations and events would fill your new story?  How would you live your life, what would you talk to your friends about and how would you see yourself if you had a new story to tell--a story filled with love, joy, love, laughter, peace and prosperity?

Who would you be?

Katie and I would love to here your comments!

Bonnie