Sunday, November 20, 2011

My Journey of Gratitude - Day 19

Gratitude leads to inner peace and that is how I awoke this morning, with this deepest sense of inner peace as my first awareness. So instead of getting up to do my 10 minutes of gratitude meditation in my usual spot, I allowed myself to shift into gratitude right there, lying in bed all snuggled under the blankets on a dark, cold morning and had a very different experience of gratitude.

Usually it is my mind that guides me through the meditation; my mind that consciously takes me into gratitude. This time, maybe because I was so relaxed, it was my physical body that took over the reins, guiding me ever deeper into what happens to me physically when I am in a state of gratitude. An odd experience certainly and I'm not quite sure if I can describe the difference.

Always before my mind told me what my body was feeling; whether it was about gratitude or anything else, the understanding came through my mind. This morning, however, the knowing came directly from my body--and I understood it. Instead of gratitude flowing from my thoughts down into my physical being, it was my body that flowed gratitude to my thoughts. My body was reflecting back to me its new state of being now--a state of physical being that carried, held and flowed gratitude. No longer was my body being fed gratitude, it had become the state of gratitude. Something had shifted within the physical and it all feels different.

Curious now to see what was next, I relaxed into this new experience and allowed it to unfold. At first I thought my mind was wandering and I'd try to bring it back to the present. But then I realized that my mind wasn't wandering because my mind was not controlling this experience--my body was. Old memories would pop up--what use to be very painful memories from childhood. Instead of the feeling of pain and woundedness that always accompanied these memories, a feeling of warmth--that new state of gratitude I have--flowed through each memory, dissolving it.

It took a few minutes to realize that the intelligence of my body--and make no mistake our bodies have an intelligence of their own--was using gratitude to heal the pain in my past. So I lay there, open and allowing this process to unfold as memory after memory was released from my cells and healed. Past memories and future worries, all healed in the same way--with gratitude.

As a medical intuitive I am use to entering the body and taking a look around, but that is my mind controlling the process. This experience was entirely different. I could actually feel my body healing itself and it was doing it consciously, wanting me to know and understand what was happening. Gratitude has become so much more than a feeling I flow through my body 10 minutes a day. It is now a state of being that I live in and that my body responds to.

As the body is a reflection of the mind, I saw a new reflection of myself this morning. And I am grateful for who I am and who I am becoming.

In gratitude,

Bonnie

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